You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
Marshawn Lynch.
Beast Mode.
The Skittle Man.
Dreadlocks and a gold grill.
Marshawn Lynch is as uncomfortable in front of a camera as he is in the clutches of a line backer.
He is awkward at a press conference like chewing salt water taffy during your wedding vows.
Lynch is a big man, with a big phobia about public speaking.
“It’s all about that action boss.”
Lynch’s press conferences this week at the Super Bowl have been wildly entertaining.
Beast Mode is a ball player’s ball player.
He isn’t the kind of player to run out of bounds or shy away from contact. between the white lines he looks for action, he looks for contact, he tries to stick the crown of his helmet inside your skull.
But during the high intensity of media scrutiny before the big game, he’s as interesting as a door mat.
He is a stick of dynamite with no fuse. Lynch is is a monosyllabic grid-iron monk. He’s a recalcitrant, defiant interview subject.
“You know why I am here,” he said 30 times in a row to every question reporters could muster.
“I am just here so I don’t get fined,” he said 2 dozen times.
“It don’t matter what you all think,” he said over and over.
Hey Marshawn, what do you think about world peace?
“I am just here so I don’t get fined,” he said.
Hey Marshawn what’s your favorite color?
“I am just here so I don’t get fined,” he said.
Hey Marshawn, Why don’t you like to talk to the media?
“I am just here so I don’t get fined,” he says like a broken record.
The NFL has a crazy policy that everyone has to talk to the media for at least 5 minutes.
Lynch has been fined before.
To avoid being fined again, he came to the podium, set his watch and then repeated the same sentence over and over.
“You all have 2 more minutes to look at me,” he said to the cameras as he stared them down in an act of crazy defiance.
While Lynch refusing to talk to the media is odd. The Media trying to talk to Lynch is sad.
He is clearly adverse to talking to the media. He clearly has nothing to say to the media. Still he is forced to talk to the media.
Why do they care? Why do they bug him? Leave him alone? let him relax.
If he was a good quote, then great, chip away at the stone. But he’s a terrible interview and the act literally causes him pain.
You can see him breaking out in hives as the questions roll over him like toxic waste.
Just leave the man alone.
While I understand that everyone has an obligation, and they get paid millions of dollars to represent themselves and their team, you have to ask yourself, at what point is enough enough.
At what point does a man’s desire and free will get subordinated by the system that pays him.
His teammates all talk to the media. His teammates all support his aversion to doing so.
As much as I wish he didn’t have to sit for five minutes and answer questions, it’s the most entertaining moment of the week.
His demeanor is abrasive and angry. He is like a caged lion. He’s been fed, and you don’t think he’ll attack, but then again, he might.
The media acts like he is the tree of knowledge so they badger the hell out of him.
Marshawn stares at them like they are fire ants he must tolerate. He tempers his anger and tells them how much time they have left to look at him.
It’s a train wreck.
It’s so hard to watch, I want to turn away. But like the train wreck, I just have to watch.
“You all got another minute to look at me,” he says through purple glasses.
“You all shove microphones down my throat,” he says checking his clock.
Then his alarm sounds and he gets up.
“Thank you.”
What if Marshawn Lynch wins the MVP?
Will he talk, then?
Will he look in the camera with confetti streaming and scream “I’m going to Disney World?”
Unlikely.
For Marshawn Lynch, It’s all about that Action, boss.
Life’s Crazy™