urine power

You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.

An excrement powered automobile.

I never thought I’d have to string those words in that order, EVER!

EXCREMENT POWERED? Man that’s as disgusting as whatever they pump into a hot dog sack. It’s just not something the human brain is equipped to understand.

So what am I talking about? Well a car that runs on urine of course.

A car that runs on urine? What are you high? Nope. But it sounds like something you write after wrapping your lips around the wrong end of a bong huh?

According to published reports : The Mazda CX-7 uses a special man-made liquid similar to human urine to reduce emissions of oxides of nitrogen (NOx). The compound, called AdBlue, is a mixture of roughly one-third pure urea and two-thirds demineralised water.

These urine assisted vehicles are all ready widely used in the trucking industry in Europe and Australia and is common in diesel cars in Europe.

I guess we Americans just haven’t embraced Urine powered cars. I’m not sure why that is.

According to what I have been able to gather, you put the urea into the exhaust system and it turns the noxious NOx into harmless water and nitrogen.

I wonder how that works. Do the harmless liquids flow out of the tail pipe, harmlessly, much like urine being, harmlessly sprayed into a field from a thirsty cow? If so, that would be an interesting, and harmless, car to watch run.

When I first read the article, I thought the car ran on urine instead of gasoline. Man, that’s weird I thought to myself. I imagined a BP station with regular, premium and piss.

Can you imagine walking out to your driveway and seeing your neighbor, pants around the ankles, peeing into his family car? While you probably can’t, I can! And the thought of it makes me wince. If you saw this, you’d call the police and report a man having inappropriate relations with his vehicle. I would love to hear that 9 1 1 call played on the nightly news.

911: what’s your emergency?

CALLER: Uh my neighbor Earl is naked in the front yard.

911: what’s he doing sir?

CALLER; well his pants are down at his ankles and he is being rather intimate with his Chevy malibu.

911: We have an officer en route now. Please stay on the phone with us.

So if life is one big chemistry experiment, then what’s next? Home heating systems powered by methane created by the family that lives in the house. ( I will spare you the particulars on this one)

Suffice to say, when it’s really cold out and mom makes extra Chili and Uncle Johnny is in the restroom for a normal than average amount of time and the lights begin to flicker, well, I’m just saying that you might want to light a match is all.

According to reports: limits on diesel emissions in the future, which will eventually make the urea-based systems mandatory equipment on all cars.

That could be good news for unemployed gaseous guys like Uncle Johnny who like to eat and read by the light of his own methane cloud.

Now that is crazy!