You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
A snoring priest handling the suicide hot-line.
That’s like a man with no teeth doing a Pepsodent ad. That’s like a unic taking Viagra and hoping for some positive results. That’s like an elephant protologist wanting to shake everyone’s hand without washing up.
IT’S JUST CRAZY™
DATELINE: Sweden
According to published reports; a distraught man called emergency services and said he felt “psychologically unstable.” He was then referred to the pastor on duty.
After a few minutes, the 44-year-old caller tells the local paper, he felt as though he was talking to himself.
“I thought maybe he was taking notes, so I asked: ‘Are you taking notes?’ I could hear his heavy breathing before he woke up.”
After another 5 minutes with no answer, the man hung up. He called again but was placed on hold.
PLACED ON HOLD?
Why not just hand out razor blades at the door.
After waiting for 10 minutes, the man claims, he hung up – feeling angry, rather than depressed.
Way to go Sweden! Way to throw a monkey wrench into the suicide machine. Whatcha gonna do next? Pass out handguns at drive through windows? Ask people if they want to supersize their purchase. You can hand them cop killer bullets.
Was the priest hitting the sacremental wine? Was he day dreaming of school boys? What kind of preacher falls asleep while saving souls? I would think a suicidal subject is the SOUL – Superbowl for a priest.
If I was the suicide hot line boss, I would have fired the priest, ripped off his collar and handed him a push broom.
The good news in all this, the man was so irate at the phone ettiquette, he stopped thinking about suicide and started thinking about chewing some ass.
Nothing will get up the dander of a suicidal subject like a snoring priest.
Perhaps that’s the answer to all suicidal subjects. Rather than talk them down, try and push them off the ledge. Maybe the idea is to piss off the caller so much, they don’t want to kill themselves, they want to kill you.
“It’s not acceptable for a priest to fall asleep in the middle of a call,” the suicidal man said. “This should not happen when you call up in search of help. I felt bad and wanted to kill myself, but I pulled myself together and made the call. I am very disappointed.”
Sweden ranks 30th in suicide rates worldwide.They’re number one in snoring priests trying to save souls.
And that is crazy!