You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
How much there is to know that we don’t know.
There is so much information in the world. Facts, figures, history, it’s an endless I Love Lucy candy conveyor belt.
The filing cabinet of everything knowable is over flowing. Once we are able to open the draw, access the golden data, the world will be changed.
The things we don’t even know we don’t know is so vast, so enigmatic, it’s like a mysterious 6th ocean, that is filled with concepts unknown, perception not yet seen.
There are wonderful, glimmering filaments of knowledge so benevolent, so beneficial, so bountiful, that once discovered it will change the course of mankind.
It will be like man discovering fire and penicilin and the iPhone all at once.
What exists in this ocean of untapped realization? The cure for cancer. The origins of life. The end of pain, suffering and war.
There is so much untapped knowledge in the jungle of existence, it’s like an amazon basin of new plants and animals never before classified, never before seen.
The reservoir of what is unknown is so vast, it will take a sagacious expedition of travelers to unlock even a fraction of this undiscovered knowledge.
What we don’t know we don’t know.
It’s a fascinating concept.
It means that we are babies on the 2nd rung of a ladder that reaches into the sky. We have so much to learn about things we don’t even know we will need to learn.
Google is the closest crystal ball we have. It’s a marvelous purveyor of knowledge. It is like a deep sea drill that explores into a bedrock of everything, instantaneously mining information both obvious and obscure. It can’t read the future, but it is a gigantic digital warehouse of the past.
Google reminds me that there is so much I don’t know that I don’t know.
The human mind is a vast receptacle of synaptic capabilities.
Where the end of the interminable void resides is not known.
It’s said that we only use a fraction of our brains.
So what’s lurking in the majority of our consciousness that has yet to be explored.
What if we could tap into an extra 1%? We would be smart.
What if we could tap into an extra 10%? We’d be Einstein.
But what if, like Columbus, we set sail for the edge of the world, pushed the limits of thinking and used 100% of our mental acumen?
Would we fall over the abyss into a new realization? Would we touch the monolith and evolve into a glowing embryo of different life?
When does smart become brilliant? When does brilliant become transcendent? When does thought become like air that is a part of the cerebral ether?
It’s impossible to know it all. Who wants to know it all? That would require setting sail in an armada of courageous mind explorers.
I don’t even know what I don’t even know.
I have trouble remembering to take out the trash.
Then there are those know it alls. People with an erudite flair who pompously sit on their knowledge thrones and regale us with wisdom they have and we don’t want.
They know the date of battles in obscure wars. They know the names of the generals horse who pooped on a land mine that saved a platoon.
These know it alls understand the operating system of your Mac Book. These know it alls invested wisely based on some obscure report out of Wall Street that only super smart know it alls have access to.
Know it alls are cerebral mind jockeys who are so deep, they don’t realize they are abrasive and sagaciously repulsive.
I often tell people that I’m a mile wide and an inch deep.
That means my job requires me to know a little something about everything.
Am I expert at anything?
Not really.
Am I a know it all? Hardly! I don’t anything and I realize I have finite abilities.
And more importantly, I know that what I don’t know couldn’t fill the empty space in Jessica Simpson’s head.
So I get this FACEBOOK message that says, so you think you know everything?
It makes me think? It reminds me that there is so much to know, so much I don’t know.
The list is random and useless.
Except for the fact that all this vagabond knowledge is under one heading, the facts here are esoteric and unremarkable.
But we need to set sail for the sea of enlightenment sooner or later, so without further ado, FACEBOOK’s foray into things you didn’t know you didn’t know.
1. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue : Crocodiles do not know how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.
2 . It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open : It’s also impossible to play five-card stud with 4 cards.
3. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. Alabama has four syllables, but they can only count to two using thumbs.
4. No word in the english language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple. Gunth. Lorange. Pilver. Nurple.
5. The average American spends 6 months of their lives waiting at red lights. The average motorist spends 3 weeks of their lives with their middle finger extended.
6. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. Kindergarten teachers thank him. Bald men don’t care.
7. A snail can sleep for 3 years. A vagrant on a L.A. bus bench can sleep for 2 straight days. An old roommate can you owe you 100 bucks for a lifetime .
8. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. Men fart nearly twice as much as women blink.
9. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar: There are 11 secret herbs and spices in KFC special seasoning.
10. A cat has 32 muscles in each year. A cat only has 9 lives.
11. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer. Charles Manson’s business card said “I will kill you”
12 . There are only 4 words in the English language that end in “D O U S” Tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, hazardous. There are a thousand words that rhyme with the word CAT
13. The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2 moves 6″ for every gallon of diesel it burns. The average soccer fan moves 6″ for every pint he consumes.
14. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. For a good time call Jane is written across of most truck stop stalls.
15. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds. The average hen-pecked husband has the memory span of a gold-fish.
16. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Condoms don’t work well when refrigerated.
17 There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins. The cast of Gilligan’s Island had no vitamins, only coconut drinks named after them.
18. There are more chickens than people in the world. Good thing chickens don’t carry guns or like to eat people.
19. A “jiffy” is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second. It’s also the term used to describe a teenager’s 1st sexual experience.
20. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. Tequila is rumored to make your clothes fall off.
So now you know some stuff you didn’t know you didn’t know.
Hey Jessica Simpson, you listening?
Life’s Crazy™