You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
The things men do to impress women.
Historically we open doors for them, and lay our coats down in puddles for them, and act all big and bad to protect them.
Some women are impressed by money. Bling Bling. How bout a platinum card, A diamond ring, a fur coat?
Some women like laughter. Tell a good joke, display a good wit, entertain them, and they melt like butter.
Other women can’t resist a man with a baby, a nice haircut, a good work ethic.
I’ve always found a puppy is a great way to meet a woman. A fluffy little pooch with a bandana for a collar and a yap for a bark – few women can resist petting your little fuzz ball. And if you can get a perfect stranger to crouch down and pet your pet, isn’t that what it’s all about gentlemen.
Some men get a Corvette. They put down the top and drop it into 6th gear and let the wind roll through their thinning hair. They cruise down the interstate hoping you’ll see their cool and not their expanding wasteline.
It’s sad these men don’t realize that many women equate Corvette + Man = small private part.
I don’t know how this transitive property of horsepower under the hood leads to diminished pony power under the sheets, but that is the working theorm by women by and large.
So – since men are stupid and women are crazy – this all this got me to thinking, what lengths men will go to impress women.
DATELINE: CHICAGO
It’s here that a man kept a pet alligator at his home in a bizarre bid to impress the ladies.
According to Chicago Police; Dewayne Yarbrough, 43, hoped the four-foot reptile would help him snap up a woman.
When cops arrested him for keeping it in a tiny tank in his kitchen, he apparently told them, “Chicks dig it.”
“because it attracted women,”
The only women who might be attracted by alligators are cajuns down on the bayou. Something tells me they would rather wear them as shoes, carry them as handbags, or eat them as gumbo.
According to police reports: Yarbrough was charged with possession of a dangerous animal.
And there’s nothing that chicks dig more than a rocking mug shot. Go get them Mr. Yarbrough. And when you make bail, go get yourself a Corvette.
And that is Crazy.