You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
Wire-less rudeness.
You and your iphone; rude! You on the Blackberry; rude!
Hey cell phone numb nuts! Lose the repugnant ring tones that cause wild Cheetahs on the Serengeti to stop fornicating.
You know what I hate, when I’m talking to you and your phone rings and you interrupt me to answer your phone.
Man that’s rude!
I’ve made the effort to be here in your physical presence. Then your cell phone rings and some melodic swank pours from the tin cup speaker.
You reach into your pocket, check the view screen and then hold up one finger telling me that you need to take this call.
The hell with that. You just diminished me, insulted me, dissed me without so much as a sorry.
You hold up a finger in my face and turn your back on me? Talk to the hand brother, cause I’m gone.
Unless that call is from your momma telling you daddy fell down in the shower, I don’t want to know from your cell phone call.
But since you took the call, which was obviously more important than the actual conversation we were having, then I’m out! I’m walking away.
If you want to talk to me, call me. Don’t be surprised if it goes to voice mail!
You know what else is rude? People in the check out line talking at 50 decibels above a whisper on a cell phone.
If you are in the ten items or less line and you are screaming so loud, you are drowning out the roar of cash registers and price checks, then you are unacceptable.
If the woman behind you is talking about her jacked up date or her mother in law or her kid’s stinky ass diaper, and I can hear it, then I’m getting involved.
I really don’t care lady. I want you to shut up.
You either don’t know that you are louder than a chain saw or you simply don’t care that your voice is sand on my cornea.
I am going to turn and stare at you and make you uncomfortable, perhaps chiming in at the most inappropriate times. I’ll ask you how aunt Myrtle is doing. Did she lance that goiter? If you are going to announce your phone conversation into my private space, I might just announce it back. If you dare to share, I’m going to let you know how much I care.
And it’s not just in check out lines? It’s elevators and restaurants and public transportation and airlines.
Be quite! Talk softly. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I don’t care. Neither do the people at the back of the bus.
And while we are diagramming rude, I watch young people pull their blackberrys and iphones out of their pockets every 30 seconds.
They check it and touch it and fondle it like they have a nervous tick. I don’t know if their crotch is filled with fire ants or is that just their technology buzzing?
Technology is suppose to be liberating, but I think it’s an invisible ball and chain. You are connected no matter where you are. You are in a bar, HAMMER TIME, and your crotch is buzzing.
You’re at the ball game and WAM, your ear is sweating into an iphone.
Like trained chimps, you reach into your pocket and pull out the device. You stare at the little glow screen like the secret of the universe is in there somewhere. You do this so often, you start to get a blue LED BURN.
It seems that the wi fi age of the new millennium has trumped good old fashioned manners? My question is Why? Why is technology more important than being polite? Manners are timeless. iphones are still a work in progress.
You know what else is aggravating? Your cell phone songs and cell phone beeps and electronic chirps and ridiculous downloads. Do you really have to express yourself audibly, around me, around anyone, so very very loud.
Do you have to let Hells Bells from AC/DC ring out for 10 seconds like Angus Young himself is performing in your hip pocket. Do you need the attention? Do you need everyone to stare?
I don’t care what your favorite song is. I don’t need the impromptu dance party simply because you own a phone.
I’m not the only one bitching about cell phone etiquette people. Fortune Magazine recently looked at this wireless phenomenon asking a damn good question: Do we need a bill of rights, a list of commandments to help us all get along in peace?
If a recent survey by Intel (INTC, Fortune 500) is any guide, the first commandment of cell phone behavior would be “Thou shalt not use text or email while driving.”
According to a poll conducted for the company by Harris Interactive, more than 90% of us are frustrated with how our neighbors use their phones. Almost three quarters of the 2,000 people surveyed said they were most annoyed by people who text or email while driving.
More than 60% said people talk too loudly in public. More than half have been annoyed by people on phones in restaurants, and close to half felt the same way about what transpires in movie theaters.
The study found that people are “grossed out” by people who talk and even text in restrooms.
Come on people; they say if you shake it more than 3 times you are playing with yourself. If you shake it with someone else on the line, I think you might have committed a felony.
A technology publication recently asked movie star Brad Pitt about this issue. Specifically, should people talk on the phone while they’re using the restroom?
“No,” the sexiest man alive said. “You can’t talk on the phone!” Pitt tells the magazine. “Do you want the guy next to you to hear your entire conversation?
“That’s why you should only text in the bathroom. Just be sure you don’t hit the wrong button and end up putting a photo of your junk on Twitter. Trust me, you don’t want those followers.”
Colorful quotes from a colorful guy.
Colorful quotes from a colorful guy.
But the bottom line; according to Brad Pitt, be polite, and exercise a modicum of respect.
Intel consumer education manager Becky Emmett says the issue is hardly limited to cell phones and smartphones. With widely available Wi-Fi, laptop behavior is equally horrifying.
“People talked about being in a public place and having people listening to a movie or video without using headphones. Some people were watching adult entertainment.
DEBBIE DOES DALLAS!
If I’m walking through the airport and somebody is watching Deep Throat with the sound up and the screen visible to me and my kids; I’m going to let you know what inappropriate is all about.
Are you kidding me? Are people that stupid, that inane, so rude or indifferent that they think they can view an adult film in a public place.
I would call the police and urge them to squeeze a round of pepper spray right into your nostrils.
We’ve all seen these kinds of things,” says Emmett. “What I learned was that technology adoption happens much faster than social etiquette adoption. We get these devices, they’re thrown out in the world, and it’s trial and error until we come to the place where cultural norms will be.”
You know something; whether you are in 1950 or 2050, manners are manners. Common sense is still common sense. Think about it, dumb ass.
If you are screaming in an elevator, for any reason other than you are on fire, then you are probably not being very courteous.
Think about it loser ;if you are broadcasting porn on your lap top in a crowded bus station, you might as well be passing out Hustler Magazines to ten year olds. You are a moron.
So what’s the answer? There is no hard and fast rule here, but I say rude begets rude. An eye for iphone so to speak. If someone is screaming into a cell phone at the super market, then act like a barking dog with tourettes and make their conversation increasingly difficult, if not down right impossible.
If someone is texting at the urinal, just turn around and urinate on the back of his leg. “Tell him you were distracted by his voice echoing off porcelain. It happens. Bummer!
Maybe it’s time to fight rudeness with even more rudeness. If those of us who hate technological rudeness get bad ass rude first, then perhaps, we can exercise our will upon the wireless wretch and send them a message they simply cannot ignore.
life’s crazy