You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Super-Cold Sunday.
The Super Bowl is supposed to be on Sunday.
Sunday = Super Bowl. Super Bowl = Sunday.
No offense to the Easter Bunny or Jesus or Mother’s day.
You’ve never heard it called Easter Bunny Sunday have you?
Truth!
To play the Super Bowl on any day other than SUNDAY, is societal blasphemy. It’s a rock sandwich sprinkled with shards of broken glass.
Any day other than Sunday is Un-American like outlawing fire crackers on the 4th of July.
It’s sad like using a restroom in a Mexican bus station with the Tia Juana phone book as toilet paper is sad.
According to weather pundits, Superbowl Sunday could be moved to Saturday or Friday or even Monday because of threatening weather.
Normally the Super Bowl is played in California or Miami or New Orleans.
Weather in these cities is a constant cheerful with a high degree of smiles.
This year the NFL wants to be innovative and play in New York.
Sounds nice on paper.
Number one market in the country, the nation’s Big Apple. Lots of Pizza joints and yellow cabs to hail.
But in case anyone forgot to check, the Super Bowl is played in early February.
Early February is a Punxsutawney freak show. Early February is a mean wind that gives you an atomic Wedgie. Early February is when Mother Nature is cranky, popping Midol. Early February is when Snow is still looking to dump its toxic load like a barge full of Jersey garbage.
This year it’s going to be a weather crap shoot.
As I write this story today, NYC is a stupid cold of 23 degrees. The only thing stupid and cold and 23 in Los Angeles is Hugh Hefner’s future Ex-wife.
Cold is just one issue in NYC.
Personally, I pay 10 million dollars for a super bowl seat, I don’t want my ass to freeze to my underpants.
If nothing else, cold at the Super Bowl – plain and simple – sucks!
It threatens comfort, it threatens the quarterback’s grip and it threatens the national anthem with a lip lisp.
The real issue is snow or dangerous weather. If roads are icy, full of snow, planes, trains and automobiles don’t function well.
If transportation is iffy, then fun turns into tragedy.
Every eye-ball in the world watching a bus full of big headed NFL mascots skidding off an icy interstate is not good for public relations.
If another Canadian Clipper or a Polar Vortex decides to attend this year’s Super Bowl then it could be an unpecedented move of the nation’s sporting holiday.
That disappoints me greatly.
To me, Super Bowl Sunday is the sporting equivalent of Easter and Christmas. It’s New Years night and my birthday.
When I was a teen, I would wake early, put on my Hawaiian kilt and high tops and go to Mr. Lee’s.
“Got my keg ready Mr. Lee?”
“In the back,” he would say with a smile.
“Big party today?”
“It’s Super Bowl Sunday,” I would respond.
ENOUGH SAID.
Sunday has always been the day. Whether there was war or depression or social unrest or 911, the Super Bowl was a time for America, for the world to gather and rejoice.
Remember Whitney Houston’s National Anthem in 2011.
OMG.
I get chills just thinking about it.
Those are the kind of Super Bowl Chills America wants. Not the kind that require 3 different types of heated undergarments.
Sunday is the Super Bowl.
It’s part of the natural order.
Why did they mess with it? There’s an old saying; if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Now the most American Holiday this side of Apple Pie, might be moved.
Super Bowl Sunday. It’s religion.
Super Bowl Sunday. It’s history.
And all this week, there will be talk about what if.
What if another Snow-ma-geddon dumps a ton of snow on New York and paralyzes the city.
What if?
The Super Bowl becomes Super Cold?
To snow or not to snow, that is the question.
The news showed video this week of 1,000 workers shoveling 13 inches of snow out of Met Life Stadium.
If it was Miami, the video would show workers shoveling thongs out of the stadium.
If it was Pasadena, the video would show workers shoveling blonde actress – waitresses out of he stadium.
If this was New Orleans, the video would show workers shoveling Gumbo down the stairs.
Hmmmmm?
Which looks more appetizing to your normal football fan and their spouse?
Christine Brennan, a famous sports writer says “this is unprecedented. It’s the biggest sports event in the country and it could move and that is what we are talking about here.”
That’s what we are talking about here, and it is not good.
I like the idea of snowy football. It is like going back to being a kid and playing tackle in the back yard in the neighborhood.
And that is fine for any game any time any of the year, other than Superbowl Sunday.
Super Bowl Sunday?
I want to see halter tops and short skirts and umbrella drinks.
Threaten to take away my apple pie, take away my fire works, my beer, my nachos, my brats?
I get a little irritated.
Superbowl Monday? I’ll be at work. I won’t even watch.
Superbowl Friday, I need a TV guide to find it.
So good luck Super Bowl.
I love you. I need you. I want you to be what you have always been.
A beer, a hot wing, good friends and hopefully a game won in the last-minute.
Here’s to sunshine, sparkly beads and a wind chill of 72.
Life’s Crazy™