You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Toilet Coffee.
According to published reports; a Starbucks in Hong Kong uses toilet water to brew its coffee.
Can you say pass the urinal cookie?
I wonder if the employees wash their hands after they scoop water out of the toilet? I wonder if it really matters?
Do you think they wait for people to finish before scooping? You think fecal fermentation gives the Starbucks brew some extra caffeinated zip?
According to the report, this Starbucks doesn’t have a water source. Employees go to a parking garage toilet for water over 70 times a day.
70 times a day? Did anyone once ask at either the Starbucks or the toilet “What the hell are you idiots doing with that bucket?”
How could anyone think this is a sanitary option? This has more potential for trouble than a Tia Juana brothel.
Brewing coffee from the toilet? It’s about as safe as cooking burgers on the exaust of your car. It’s nutritious like flipping pancakes on a NYC subway grate. It’s about as FDA approved as blending a milk shake in a bidet.
And people are paying $5 for a cup of percolated ecoli?
As a result of this atrocity going public, Starbucks was issued a warning from Hong Kong’s Food and Environmental Hygiene Department to fix the problem as soon as possible. I would go as far as to shut the place down. Any business that would brew water from the place you poop needs more time to work on its business plan.
Hong Kong Starbucks
Shortly after the warning was issued, the company posted an apology on its Facebook page, swearing that it would never get water from that parking garage again:
“Please kindly accept our apologies for the concerns raised by the coverage on the water source at the Bank of China Tower store. While the water used at that store was drinking water and certified as safe, we would like to clarify any misconceptions, as quality and safety have always been our top priority.
While that sounds nice, it rings hollow.
Sort of like a Bidet Grande Latte sounds disgusting.
Life’s Crazy™