You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
life is crazy.
Is it me or is life a merry-go-round set to projectile vomit? Lately life is a sledge hammer smashing toes and sticking cayenne pepper up my nose.
Lately life is a ball of stress wrapped in razor wire. It’s electricity hooked up to your groin, secured to your short hairs by a tweezer made of poison darts.
Life is like a pizza pie, broken into slices of angst and dire gloom.
Work is a major slice of this stress. Most of us spend 10 hours a day at this place, working with dumb asses who couldn’t open a twist off beer top.
Work is a high humidity pressure cooker of steamed anxiety and sauteed nightmares. It’s as comfortable as flossing with asbestos and broken glass. Management is insatiable and desultory. They think the know what they want until they change their minds.
Home is another slice of crazy. Bills and money and needy teenagers. It’s nagging wives who don’t realize how good they have it till they no longer have it.
Relationships are arduous like pouring sand in your eyes and then doing cartwheels for Bozo. When trust erodes, relationships go to hell.
Lately life is a bowl of stress and the only way to reduce it is to gargle with Corona and fairy dust.
I’m no longer lucid so I’m going to bed now.
Maybe when I wake up from this bad dream, I’ll be in Candy Land and I can go live on Chocolate Mountain.
And there I can shout: “The hills are alive with the sound of CRAZY!”