You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Getting paid to make love to your neighbor’s wife.
Normally in a story like this, the woman would look like a soiled cushion in a frat house recliner.
But not this time. This woman is fine Egyptian linen with a thread count higher than Charlie Sheen on a crack binge.This woman is a stunning beauty queen of a wife. She’s curvaceous like a Swiss mountain highway. She’s soft like a feather boa. She’s hard like a surf board coated in Dr. Zogg’s.
And this job opportunity is not some fast food, drive through, WAM BAM THANK YA MAM kind of job.
It’s full time with benefits. We’re talking boot knocking, head board banging benefits.
According to published reports the man was paid to make love to this woman, not once, not twice, but 72 times!
72 times!
Where does the line for this job start?
DATELINE: STUTTGART, Germany
It’s here that one man hired his neighbor to impregnate his incredibly delicious looking wife.
Most men would pay just to lick this woman’s counter top after she bakes a cake.
This lucky 34 year old worker bee got to eat his cake and the icing too.
It turns out that the husband was sterile and really wanted a child.
Why adopt a child right? I mean there’s practically no kids in the world left who need good parents.
So what is plan B?
How bout hiring your neighbor to have sex with your wife. I mean it is your wife, the love of your life. The woman you promised to keep in sickness and in health and infertility dilemas? And he is a man and you are asking him to have sex with her. How is that odd?
And stranger yet, is how the man convinces his beauty queen wife that this is a good plan. Perhaps she is not the sharpest tiara on the runway, but some how, all these miscreants sign a contract, and the salacious insanity begins.
The neighbor is paid $2,500 dollars to make love to the beauty queen 3 times a week every week for 6 months.
Talk about tough work conditions.
The neighbor would later tell the court he worked like a valued employee trying to earn that gold watch. He didn’t call in sick and showed up for work eager to mount every assignment.
But after 72 times and no pregnancy, the beauty queen starts to wonder; “Hmmmm?”
That’s when the beauty queen initiates a self imposed work stoppage.
The neighbor goes to the doctor and finds out his man junk is about as potent as a Liberace charm bracelet.
But wait, the neighbor has two kids. Sterile? What’s going on here?
That’s when the neighbor’s wife is “outted” forced to tell authorities that the neighbor’s kid’s are not really his kids.
It seems she worked from home with an outside contractor while her husband was out earning an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work.
So now everyone is mad at everyone and the court has to deal with a helluva mess.
The husband is so angry he is now suing the neighbor he once trusted to impregnate his wife. He is suing him for breach of contract.
The neighbor says he only agreed to make love to the guy’s wife and give an “honest effort”. He claims in court documents that he did not “promise” to get her pregnant.
The beauty queen feels betrayed and used as if she somehow was not compensated adequately for her work.
As for the neighbor’s wife? Ah what could have been? If she hadn’t let her husband punch the beauty queen’s time clock, nobody would be the wiser as to why her kids were calling the milk man daddy.
Oh well, the best laid plans of neighbors and beauty queens in Stuttgart, right?
And that is crazy.The beauty queen isn’t so sure and wants a doctor’s note before she’ll let him come back to work. The neighbor has two kids of his own so obviously his junk works right?