Using the words PORK and VIAGRA in the same sentence during a presidential press conference.
But connect Pork to long lasting, satisfying sex in the Presidential palace, and you got yourself an international incident. Well maybe.
DATELINE: BUENOS AIRES ARGENTINA
Well there you have it!
President Cristina Fernandez basically held a press conference to say she got Porked after eating pork. Who thinks this is a good topic for a press conference? This is unacceptable even if she was addressing a joint convention of Pork Farmers who can’t maintain an erection. The Presidential press secretary should be flogged and sent to jail for allowing this lunacy.
.In case you missed it, President Fernandez was addressing leaders of the Pig Farming Industry. She could have said Pork tastes great or it’s the healthy white meat. But for some reason she chose to equate the pork sandwich she ate to a satisfying sexual tryst between herself and the first Husband. DIVERSIFY? That’s a legitimate topic for discussion.
But what came out of Fernandez’ mouth should have been sterilized and flushed down the crapper.
Instead of playing on this theme of beef diversification, the so called “most beautiful leader in all the world” got up on national tv and essentially declared; She and her husband did it like bunnies all weekend long thanks to a healthy diet of pulled pork sandwiches.
I bet that’s not all they pulled!
If you use the transitive properties developed by master mathematicians; (A+B=C)
I must summize that Pork+Porking=Satisfaction and Economic Growth.
Now I wasn’t there for the Presidential Porking, but I can only imagine those Bar-B-Que pork sandwiches were so erotically flavorful, that neither the President or her latin lover cowboy of a husband could wait the recommended 20 minutes after eating before jumping into the “pool”, if you know what I mean.
We know she likes pork. The question is, does she also like tequila? Was the President Juiced? What leader tells her nation that she and the first husband were doing it like teenagers in the back seat of a 57 Chevy filled with pulled pork meat?
As if the President’s admissions weren’t embarrassing enough, Reuters also quotes her as saying :”I’ve just been told something I didn’t know; that eating pork improves your sex life. I’d say it’s a lot nicer to eat a bit of grilled pork than take Viagra,” she said to leaders of the pig farming industry.
Thank you for coming everyone, now don’t forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses on your way out.
Wow! The President endorses pork like it’s a little blue pill.
I wonder what El Presidente plans to reveal when she addresses the Plumbers Association next week? I’m sure something unsavory will come out of her mouth about laying pipe.
How bout the Blow Up Doll Federation of Argentina this March? Hold on to your Sombreros everyone, that should be a press conference not even C-SPAN will televise without an 8 second delay.
After reading about this surreal press conference, I can see why Fernandez won 97% of the E.D. vote.
Can’t you just imagine thousands of old men in Buenos Aires, mobilizing in wheel chairs and walkers to the Carneceria (meat market) to buy every last ounce of pork. Will they eat it or just begin rubbing the raw meat on their bodies in some sickening, demented ritual of misguided sexuality.
Maybe Viva Viagra ads will disappear from Argentine TV, in favor of pork commercials.
The other white meat.
(Good riddance to the Viagra ads I say. they make me uncomfortable. I don’t like men sitting around a camp fire with wine spritzers and guitars singing about impotence. And set to Elvis? Elvis liked amphetamines and cheeseburgers. He liked rhinestones and gas station jump suits. Something tells me he wouldn’t be about Erectile Dysfunction.)
This advice from the Crazy Dept: If your pork sandwich induced erection lasts more than four hours, be sure to see a doctor.
And that is crazy!