You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy?™
My displeasure with the new Power Ball Winners.
I am watching them cheer like saccharine wet mops in their matching blue T-shirts.
I find myself getting nauseous.
Maybe I am displeased because I am jealous. After all, they took my winning ticket. Their good fortune was my bad fortune. They won 240 million dollars. I helped put at least a few dollars in their pockets.
Where’s my thank you chumps?
But I don’t think this is why the nuclear furnace of my angst is boiling over.
I want my money back. Not because I am a sore loser, but because this group of 20 people seem like sore winners. I lose the lottery twice a week. I buy my ticket knowing I am going to lose. I don’t care that much about 2 dollars most of the time.
But I hate wasting 2 dollars on mutton chops who don’t really look like they deserve it.
You know who deserves it? The guy in the video at the top of the page. When you are done reading, watch this guy. He is just a regular American, with bad teeth, who finds out on camera that his life has changed forever. He seems like a pretty cool dude. I am happy for him.
I like to see winners who I can applaud, who need the money and will help their families or their churches or their illegitimate offspring.
I even like the cowboy idiots who somehow squander a quarter billion dollars on whisky and whores. You think that’s easy to do? Try it some time. It takes skill to be that deplorably inept.
And then there are these latest bastards, excuse my French.
There they are, standing amidst the TV cameras, the bright lights, the reporters. They act so smug, so cocky.
I guess 240 million dollars allows you to act the way you want. Doesn’t mean I have to like it and it doesn’t mean that I won’t throw up in my mouth every time I see their image.
The group of 20 work together at the Quaker Oats cereal company.
They worked in shipping or some such thing.
The TV people did the math. They say each smiling factory joker will put 5.6 million dollars TAX FREE in their pockets.
They say they have been buying as a group for 15 years.
Half of these dim wits say they will retire. I guess that means the other half of these mental midgets will keep packing cereal into trucks.
Why?
Who knows? Who cares. I hope they fall of the edge of the Earth.
I don’t like them. They are smug. They are pompous. They are wearing blue t shirts that say screw you Other Losers!
And there they are posing with their gigantic check.
They didn’t just enter the Powerball office, they sprinted into the Powerball office.
They acted like Usain Bolt setting the world record in the 100 meters, except all they did was get lucky.
I just don’t like them. I like them less than I like Jock Itch. I like them less than I like fire ants under my eye lids. I like them less than I like Irritable Bowel Syndrome in a quiet church.
Why? Because they are thankless!
It’s like when you buy a girl a drink and she doesn’t even say thanks? Forget her.
It’s like when you take your kids to the movies and they walk in without so much as an appreciative nod. Forget them.
They are rumplestiltskin stupid and they just happened to pull the lever on the lottery pot of gold.
Honestly, if I was there, I would slap all their collective faces like some three stooges sight gag.
I’m looking at these new millionaires and my thoughts turn to fiery anger.
I Sure hope they enjoy the cash because handsome they ain’t.
Last time I checked, 5 million dollars won’t buy you new hair losers. So better invest in some hats with hair.
Am I a bad loser? Maybe. Are they bad winners. Definitely.
Sorry ass bastards.
And that is crazy.™