You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Idiots trying to smuggle animals through airports.
What’s wrong with these people. Do they have a steel plate in their collective head?
First it was monkeys then snakes and now it’s rare birds.
Are you people high? Are you smoking Brillo pads laced with stupid?
Have you ever heard of TSA? Do you not watch the news? Do you not realize TSA uses an ex ray machine that can see if you have anal warts?
Do you not realize that some Broom Hilda looking wench, wearing a uniform a size too small, with a bad attitude and facial hair is going to pull you out of line and rub your chest with the backs of her hands?
Do you not understand this? Is your head oozing with oatmeal mush?
Do you not realize that if you are trying to smuggle a toucan or a dove or a bald eagle in your crotch that you will be caught.
Why must we constantly stand in line with people who don’t understand that to fly in 2011 means not trying to shove a Chia Pet inside your body.
Just take off your shoes, remove your belt and all the tin foil from your space hat and go through the line. Quit taking cell phone pictures of how you were treated and felt up and diminished as a human and just shup up. Quit slowing me down. I have places to go and people to see. I don’t mind the screening as long as I don’t have to wait too long in line because of mental midgets like you.
DATELINE: LOS ANGELES
It’s here that an idiot, who needs electro shock therapy, was arrested at Los Angeles International airport. According to published reports she was caught trying to smuggle rare birds somewhere on her body.
According to the LA Times, A pat-down revealed two yellow birds stuffed in socks and taped to the arm of a female passenger who was reportedly en route to Guangzhou, China.
I am sure that people send birds on aircrafts lady. Call ahead, ask what provisions they have for transporting a live creature with feathers.
But to tape a bird to your body for a transatlantic flight that will last 12 hours or so, well that’s animal cruelty. Do you really think the bird is going to be alive after riding in the roll of your stomach fat for 12 excruciating hours?
US Fish and Wildlife officers arrested the woman on suspicion of smuggling goods and exporting an endangered species, a Transportation Security Administration (TSA) spokesman told the paper.
The spokesman said that the birds appeared to be in good shape after they were removed from the passenger.
“It was just one of those weird things that happens at our checkpoints,” he said.
Just one of those things? That’s the problem, it shouldn’t be one of those things.
It’s bad enough I can’t bring a tube of toothpaste on board for fear the jet might suddenly fly into the side of a sky scraper.
So listen and listen good: Leave the birds and snakes and gators and kittens and snails at home people. Quit trying to hide animals in your clothes and every conceivable body orifice. The animals don’t like it, TSA doesn’t like it, your orifice doesn’t like it, and frankly I don’t like it either!
And that is crazy.™