You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
Having sex with a corpse.
I’m not talking about a lousy lay, I’m talking about actually engaging in relations with someone who is dead.
This crime is so insane, it makes me gag.
At what point does your libido say to your rational self: “Hey that dead girl is hot.”
DATELINE: WASHINGTON, Indiana
According to the Washington Times-Herald a man was charged with necrophilia and mutilating a corpse.
It’s more horrible a thought than cock roaches rushing into my nostrils and using my sinus cavity as their bathroom.
When cops asked this delusional lunatic what the hell he thought he was doing he said:
“Dead? What do you mean she’s dead?”
They mean her heart has stopped. She’s not breathing. Blood flow to her vital organs is non existent. She’s blue and her skin is starting to get kind of cheesy. What part of dead don’t you understand, mutton chop?
This skuzz bucket is also known around the jailhouse as Fifty-five-year-old Richard Elwood Sanden. Thank God he’s behind bars on a $500,000 bond.
According to Police: this rancid looking sand urchin met the 48-year-old victim, Rebecca Whitehead, on a phone dateline nearly four months ago.
So much for harmony and love on the web huh?
The police report indicates, paramedics were called to his apartment and tried unsuccessfully to revive Whitehead.
That’s when this scum bag reportedly told investigators that while he and Whitehead were having sex, he suddenly noticed she wasn’t breathing and tried to give her CPR.
Yeah right. Suddenly dead. Tried to revive her. Those are all good things to tell police who can’t question your date because she is blue and starting to ferment like wet bread on the sofa.
According to published reports: Police arrested Sanden on marijuana charges that night, but after viewing evidence from a video camera hidden in another room, upgraded the charges on Tuesday to include necrophilia and mutilating a corpse.
Now what that video showed, I can only assume was so disgusting, grizzled veterans of the homicide unit expelled their lunches into a collective garbage pail in the middle of the squad room.
I understand people have crazy fetishes. I don’t understand most of them. Feet and latex and bondage.
But compared to nailing dead chicks, these fetishes seem as wholesome as cotton candy at the ball park.
All I know is that if found guilty of necrophilia, numb nuts should be brought to the local cemetery and put in a crypt full of decomposing skin and bones.
Let’s see how much you like that you sick mama jamma.
and that is crazy.