You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Moonshine.
White lightning. Pumpkin pie. The clear.
I did a story on a guy busted for cooking up moonshine in his basement.
This modern day backwoods entrepreneur had 2 stills and 40 gallons of shine in his basement.
Two kids, two dogs, one wife, two stills.
It’s the American dream.
The Alcoholic Beverage Commission agent tells me that home made hooch goes for 50 dollars a gallon.
That’s $2,000 dollars worth of high octane fun.
$50 dollars a gallon! That’s like buying 2 buckets of fire hot wings.
Twice the heart burn with half the cerebral RPM’s.
So this guy has 2 young sons and he’s down in the basement mixing up the medicine.
Way to go dad of the year. What do you think? this is 1947?
The agent says moonshing can be dangerous.
Ah, yeah. I’d guess so.
Grain alcohol and a bunson burner? What could possibly go wrong.
The guy said he didn’t realize that making your own moonshine was illegal.
Liar Liar pants on fire.
Hey Al Capone, when has it ever been legal to brew up your own hooch?
Can you name me one day in American history when making hard alcohol was authorized.
The only guys who got away with it were named Trapper John and Hawkeye and they lived in a Army Hospital tent in Korea.
Make your own home made beer? sure. Wine? why not.
But grain alcohol? Just ain’t happening Bonnie and Clyde.
It’s not only combustible, but it attracts the wrong crowd.
Have you ever seen the idiots who come to a man’s private speakeasy to pay 50 dollars for a jug with 3 X’s on it?
Let’s just say it ain’t pretty and in need of a lot of dental work.
It’s an all cash business and your normal moonshiner is probably packing heat or at least a home depot membership card.
Moonshine is more romantic than cooking meth, but it’s kind of the same thing.
The moonshiner says he is kind of bummed that he is going to have a criminal record now.
He should have thought about that before he pretended to know that making moonshine was illegal in all 50 states including the one he inhabits.
and that is crazy.™