You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
sex so loud it has the police knocking on your door.
DATELINE: WASHINGTON, England
According to the BBC, a British woman who has tormented her neighbors for years with her excessively loud lovemaking was ordered to go before a judge.
The screamer’s name is Caroline Cartwright. She’s 49 and apparently louder than a Yankee Stadium P.A. System.
Not much to look at, the middle aged woman apparently enjoys to have very loud and very long sex with her equally ugly husband, Steve.
Local law enforcement knows her well. Her late night romps have been known to cause dogs to howl, cats to spray urine and neighbors to call the police.
She is so enthusiastic during sex, police arrested her and charged her with England’s version of disorderly conduct, a charge typically issued to vandals or teenage delinquents.
Way to go Lassie!
A 12 week suspension? Or what? Are you going to post a cop outside her front door with a VU meter?
“Yes your honor, we registered Mrs. Cartwright at 122 db’s on July 9th at 11:22 am. Yes sir that is the equivalent of a WHO concert.”
How can you lock up a woman for being vociferous in bed? Only in stuffed shirt England could this happen?
You think a woman screaming in ecstasy in Brazil is going to bring the cops? A camera crew of porn producers, maybe? Vendors are going to set up and sell hot dogs at the site of the screaming. But Law enforcement? Hardly!
According to the BBC: Cartwright’s screams were so loud that she was overheard by a mail man and a woman taking her child to school.
Well la dee dah!
So what? Through rain and sleet and screams of delight; the mail must go through.Locals had complained of an “unnatural” sound that drowned out their televisions and gave the impression of two people in “considerable pain.”
It’s not like she’s a vampire eating neighborhood cats. She’s a woman with an active libido and a healthy set of lungs.Cartwright received a suspended prison sentence in January for breaching the order, which banned her from making excessive noise, knocking, shouting or screaming loudly enough for her neighbors to hear.
“I have tried to minimize the situation by having sex in the morning, not at night,” the hideously loud sex kitten told the court. “That way I won’t wake anybody,” she added.
And that is crazy!