You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™
Two dolls with smooth private parts doing the bump and grind.
DATELINE: CANDYLAND
Breaking News: Barbie and Ken may be getting back together, and both look “mah-vah-luss”
After years of Barbie tossing that beautiful blond mane over her delicate shoulders and Ken wondering whether he could wear Barbie’s G-String, the super couple are once again eye balling one another.
According to Mattel Inc, the blond bombshell with the 8 inch waist and 55 inch bust line called it quits with her longtime plastic pal in February 2004.
Who can blame her? Have you ever ripped the board shorts off a Ken doll? All you get is rubber eraser smooth. The only thing Ken is missing is the Number 2 pencil, if you know what i mean.
Women don’t want their man’s Brazilian wax job to be the envy of everyone at the nail salon. Especially when his crotch was made in China.
According to FOX NEWS Barbie left androgynous Ken for some Australian surfer named Blaine.
Well Blaine was eaten by a shark and Ken, after 7 years of growing some plastic manhood is back.
Toy manufacturer Mattel Inc. is using Facebook and Twitter to test the waters on whether the iconic doll duo should reunite.
The only thing that would make this story more sickening would be if I was cramming it down your throat with a gallon of Mrs. Butterworth’s Syrup.
Mattel is planning a big toy store release for the “Sweet Talking” Ken doll.
Oh No! Don’t do it Mattel. Not “sweet talking” Ken. That was the reason Barbie dropped the nub the first time.
The only thing Barbie wants from “sweet Ken” is fashion tips and his recipe for Brie.
Mattel says the revamped Ken doll is “the ultimate boyfriend for every occasion,” because he “says whatever you want him to say!”
“Says whatever you want him to say?”
Come on Ken, Grow a pair! You need to stand up for yourself. Grow a beard, get a pair of cowboy boots and toss back a shot of Wild Turkey 101 every now and then.
Look Barbie in the eyes, and melt her plastic, boy.
Let Barbie know whose nub is running the show. “Man up” like Rosie O’Donnell would. At least her nub has balls.
According to Barbie’s Web Site, “Ken and I have had some fab times, I just don’t know what to do,” Barbie reportedly posted on her Twitter feed!
Ken and Barbie Tweeting? Candy Land has gone F-in Crazy, hasn’t it?
You think the Crazies racing camels through a gauntlet of rock hurlers in Cairo give a crap? You think the anti Mubarak Posse gives a humus pie if Barbie hooks back up with a nub with no appreciable penis? But then again, it is the Middle East where sheep aren’t just food, they are an actual choice on match.com.
Should Barbie take back Ken?
Sadly, in this toysRus love affair, you can vote on line at barbieandken.com.
I vote drop the numb. Sorry Barbie. It’s tough to be a 70 year old Beach Babe in search of love.
By the way; what was your cousin’s name? P.J.? Damn she was hot.
And that is crazyLike a Chicago election, vote early and vote often. Let Ken know he is a eunuch with the testosterone level of lint. Send him back to Fredericks of Hollywoods, where leopard skin thongs are on sale for half off.