You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
Frivolous lawsuits by frivolous people involving frivolous frivolousness.
Yeah I said it; Frivolousness. I know it’s not a word, well, ok it is a word, but is not a word that normal people should use frivolously.
Go to the dictionary and look up the word Frivolousness: you’ll find it right between Freakin waste of time and Frenzied court shenanigans.
DATELINE: BRAZIL
A Brazilian court awarded a former McDonald’s employee $17,500 for weight gained during his 12-year stint with the fast food company.
Really?
The guy got fat, sued, and won!
Stick me in the eye right now with a pointy french fry.
It’s Crazy! I hate these law suits.
According to published reports: The 32-year-old said he gained 65 pounds while working at the Latin American Golden Arches. He says it was all the free lunches the fast food chain gave to employees.
It sounds like the reason the guy gained 65 pounds is because he opened his pile hole and stuffed the equivalent of a small child into his gut.
I doubt any of his co-workers held a gun to his enormous, ever increasingly large pumpkin head and snarled;
“Hey fat boy, down these two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, or i’ll stick your head in the deep fryer.”
While this case is nauseating, the most heinous lawsuit of all time is the hot coffee in the lap lawsuit. We all know it, we all hate it.
That’s the one where the guy spilled hot coffee in his lap, melting his groin, turning him into a neutered Ken doll.
I hate this case. Life happens. Deal with it. Take responsibility.
The moment the drive thru guy hands you something, that something is now yours. It is your problem.
If you accidentally stick a piping hot fry into your eye, is that the drive thru guy’s fault? Exactly.
Back to the South American version of frivolousness.
This porky pig punk has no case, yet he sues and he wins. And that is the problem. HE WON!
If he loses, guys like him quit suing and the frivolousness declines.
What is wrong with the courts? Is there nobody as angry as me who can sit on a jury and listen to this crap and then return a reasonable verdict.
I’d sit there filing my nails, yawning, while dough boy tells his story of free burgers and excuses for not exercising.
Then when the judge says: And what verdict have you?
I would get up as the crazy foreman and say:
“Your honor, we find the defendant fat and stupid and that is no way to go through life. We find the defendant nauseating for the way the sweat pools on his double chin. We find the defendant in need of some running shoes and a work out leotard. We find the defendant lacking in self control and will power and we sentence him to a month of Sundays at the nearest Brazilian Boot Camp run by Richard Simmons.”
We the jury find the defendant GUILTY OF FRIVOLOUSNESS!
According to published reports, the man said he suffered from high cholesterol and muscle weakness because he was forced to eat food that was full of fat, sugar and salt.
Pobrecito!
The judge said that while genetic factors and a sedentary lifestyle possibly contributed to the franchise manager’s weight gain, this did not absolve the responsibility of the employer.
In a statement, McDonald’s said it was considering appealing the case.
McDonalds should spend every dollar they have fighting this case.
What’s at stake? only the frivolousness of the free world.
Life’s Crazy™