You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
The daily dumb.
There’s so much dumb, it makes you numb.
How much dumb do you deal with every day?
I wade through dumb so deep I need boots.
The dumb is so prevalent where I live, I should wear a surgical mask.
Dumb is as dumb does, and apparently dumb does do!
Is it work dumb? Is it School dumb? Is it Commuter dumb? Is it Parking lot dumb?
On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your dumb meter indicate?
Is it pegged at red line like a nitro burning funny car?
Is it a Who Concert, Pete Townsend whirly gigging, rock and roll metal feedback dumb?
Daily Dumb can come from anywhere, at any time.
Dumb is a look from the toll booth lady.
Dumb is a sneer from the metro bus driver.
Dumb is the school kid wearing that stupid hat with the big long ears.
What’s up with that anyway?
It’s just dumb stuff that makes you stop and say “man that is just dumb.”
I got dumb at the dry cleaner today.
I pull in the drive through and put the car in park.
I look at the sliding glass door and see a note card that says “Back in 5 minutes.”
I’m on the phone so I decide to wait.
About a minute later, a car stops behind me and nudges up to my bumper.
I can tell the guy is anxious to get his dry cleaning and move on.
I’m on the phone. The sign says back in five minutes. The lights are off in the dry cleaner.
Dumb, right?
I keep talking, glancing up in my rear view mirror.
The guy is behind me, leaning over his steering wheel.
He is fogging up his window in the frosty morning.
He can’t see the little sign on the door. He only knows that I’m ahead of him and I’m taking forever to pick up my dry cleaning.
“How dumb am I?” this guy must be cursing under his breath.
“dumb ass! Pick up your clothes. Let’s go.”
Little does he know, I’m waiting on an empty business.
Back in 5 minutes. DUMB.
I peer into the business and there is no sign of life.
I think about getting out of the car and telling the guy behind me there’s a dumb sign on the door.
“Hey dumb ass,” I want to scream. “I’m waiting in this dumb line for nobody, just like you.”
Another minute passes and I watch this bozo get angrier and angrier.
It’s cold out. I’m on the phone. I don’t owe this dummy anything.
I finish my call.
He backs up and floors it out of the parking lot.
I think he mouthes F You at me, flipping me the bird.
I laugh as the girl comes to the door and pulls down the card.
“Were you waiting long?” she asks.
“Nope. No problem,” I say with a smile.
And that’s what I’m talking about. Daily dumb that just comes to your door and knocks and knocks till you can’t ignore it.
I get daily dumb at the supermarket every time the bag boy asks “Sir do you want your milk in a bag?”
“Yes,” I always say. “yes, I want my milk in a bag.”
I feel like saying, you put my eggs in a bag. You put my bacon in a bag. You put my Frosted Flakes in a bag. Why wouldn’t you also put my milk in a bag?
That’s just dumb. Quit asking me the same dumb question.
Daily dumb is on the interstate in force.
It’s 1pm. The SUV in front of me is swerving lane to lane.
I know drunk driving. That’s not drunk driving.
That’s texting. That’s distracted driving.
Dumb.
The SUV is all over the road. It’s just so dumb. This vehicle is going to kill someone and all to finish a simple sentence like R U OK?
Daily Dumb.
And the dumb is really turned on high when you get to work.
Daily Dumb at the work place is a tea-pot whistle screaming insanity.
Daily Dumb at work is prevalent like barnacles on a dock.
Co-workers loitering, smoking cigarettes, wandering around like lost gypsies.
Just dumb.
The moment my key card opens the gate, I feel a thunder-cloud of dumb rain down upon me.
The Dumb is so thick, I have to use my windshield wipers to move it out of my field of vision.
I walk in and people are shouting.
The level of absurdity is off the scale.
There appears to be no decorum, no sense of right or wrong here.
It’s just a tidal wave of dumb.
It’s like Cambodian Parliament and someone just said they are levying a tax on rice.
Hold on to your parasol everyone! Dumb just got amped up a notch.
Suddenly we are doing it this way, I’m told.
We use to make pink widgets. Not today. Today its black widgets.
Get it. Got it. good.
We’ll add it to the employee handbook in the next printing.
Sure. Relax.
Daily Dumb.
It’s America’s work force being exposed to insanity close up.
This is the way it is.
Take it or leave it.
If you don’t like it find a new place to work.
Woah.
Slow your roll hoss.
Let me sip my first cup of coffee, ok?
Daily Dumb.
Life’s Crazy™