You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Brushing your teeth with Comet. What do you think, your mouth is a toilet?
DATELINE: ROYAL OAK, Michigan
“I had eaten the household cleanser Comet for years and years and years and years,” said Crystal, who refuses to give her last name because her brain has been wiped clean by scrubbing bubbles.
“It had, I guess, eroded the enamel off of my teeth, (and) then, of course, started going down to the roots.”
Well la dee da. “It eroded the enamel off my teeth!” It also cleans tile and soap scum lady!
Are you kidding me? Who the hell eats comet? Did your momma raise you in a Janitor’s closet?
In published reports, the stupidest woman in the world says she was hooked on Comet for nearly 30 years. She ate the cleanser nearly every day.
It’s like crack for cleaning people!
Can you imagine eating Comet cleanser every single day?
Who is this person? If you were this insipid, wouldn’t you want to diversify your diet. Why not snort white out? Hey I have a “jones” for Dove Dish Washing Detergent? Hey babe can I buy you some Cascade?
Crystal, the dumbest human on Earth attributed the strange addiction to a difficult childhood that included physical and sexual abuse.
“I thought maybe somehow I was cleaning myself out, that I felt dirty inside,” Crystal said.
Can anyone say colonic? How bout fasting? Drink a lot of green tea wacko!
Here’s the good news in this crazy tale:
Crystal got help.
A dentist spent months working to restore and repair Crystal’s teeth, providing more than $20,000 in dental work for free.
“It made me very happy. Most times people don’t like to come to the dentist, and if I can make somebody happy and do something nice for somebody, I always welcome the opportunity,” said Kazanis.
“I feel better physically. You have no idea what bad teeth can do to your physical health, very detrimental. I look better. I speak better,” said Crystal.
The good news; Crystal has the most sparkling clean colon in America, and now a smile that would make Pepsodent proud.
And that is crazy!