You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Suicide. It’s lunch time and I’m outside a local hospital in Nashville. Fire trucks with swirling red lights fill the driveway. To the side are police cars with flashing blue lights. The strobes intersect like Obi Wan fighting Darth Vadar on the death star. A crowd of […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Laying an ass whooping on a burglar stealing your stuff. Nobody wants to come face to face with a bandit. Nobody wants to go one on one with danger. But if you have to go mano a mano with an imbecilic splash of manure, why not come out […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ 4th of July commercialism. The Fourth is America’s birthday. It’s about patriotism and pie. It’s about founding fathers and fire works. It’s about Independence and Hot Dog eating contests. The 4th of July is sparklers and the beach and bar b que with all the fixings. […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Opening the door to your home and being over come by the pungent stench of urine. The scent is hopefully not human and most likely feline. But still, it is the unmistakable scent of ammonia. My eyes water from the toxic wave – something so noxious, it reminds […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ The ugliest dog in the world. He’s 2 pounds of hideous. He’s four paws of disgust. He’s a snout and an eye ball peeking out of a sarcophagus. He’s a dog that looks like an amputated scrotum. Normally looking like a festering black head is a […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. ™ Psychic Sheep! They bother me, much like elephants that never forget and cats who waste lives they should otherwise preserve. Psychic Sheep? Try saying that 3 times fast. So what makes a walking lamb chop so prescient? Cancer. BAAAAAA. DATELINE:Wiltshire, England. It’s here that a taciturn sheep is being hailed […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™Broadcasting your every random thought across the friendly skies. Imagine opening your libido, flushing your mind, and filtering it through your manhood. Then take that volatile mess and mix it in your potty mouth. Now imagine you spit that venom into the atmosphere, naming names and bluntly saying what […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Spending 5 hours tailing a work van. My day starts at 7:45 am. I am in a WalMart Parking lot. It’s here I’ve been told that the carpet cleaners come to cash their pay checks. The tipster tells me that the men clean carpets, and when […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™Throwing out the first pitch. We’ve all seen presidents throw out the first pitch at the All Star game and Opening Day. President Bush brought the heat. President Obama threw like a girl. We’ve seen celebrities bang the brains of gophers bouncing the ball up to the […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Giving elderly hospital patients a tambourine as part of their health care plan. Who sponsors this health care? The Osmonds? Tamboourines? What ever happened to the electronic call buttons they have on each hospital bed? Does that electric pulse really rack up so many health care […]