You know what’s Crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
1,000 Blackbirds Fall From the Sky DEAD.
DATELINE: Beebe, Arkansas
1,000 black birds reportedly fell out of the sky on New Year’s Eve.
The bodies of the birds were scattered over a one mile area.
It’s unclear why the birds died, but Arkansas Fish and Game ornithologist Karen Rowe hypothesized that the birds may have been hit by high-altitude lightning or hail.
HUH?
The bird expert also speculated that New Year’s Eve revelers may have ignited fireworks, startling the flock and resulting in death from STRESS.
Yeah and then blood filled a nearby lake and locusts descended upon the land.
It isn’t like 1,000 doves died. It’s not like a 1,000 seagulls died, that would actually be a good thing for seaside paint jobs and landfills everywhere.
No, 1,000 BLACKBIRDS died!
That’s prophetic in a vomiting pea soup kind of way.
Somewhere in the darkness a jackal is howling.
Can you say pass the Holy Rosary and say a Hail Mary for me.
As I read this report, I can only think of that famous scene in the Exorcist where the two priests are in Linda Blair’s icy bedroom and her head is spinning around like a tilt-a-whirl.
“The power of Christ compels you,” they scream.
“Your mother sucks C**** in hell,” she counters.
A quick check of the Bible, Matthew 24 indicates that:
Jesus speaks of wars on a global scale, famine, pestilence, lawlessness, people having no love for one another, and earthquakes.
Except for the Earthquake, that sounds like Thanksgiving at my house last year.
All I’m saying is, the birds either died of stress like the bird lady says or you better start atoning for your sins.
Nothing says Armageddon like Blackbird Pie people.
And that is crazy.