You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Winning half a billion dollars.
That’s mind boggling.
I understand 100 dollars. I can even conceptualize 10,000 dollars. A million dollars would take some thinking. But a BBBBBillion dollars? That’s like the part of your consciousness where you start falling off a building and then suddenly wake up before you splat on the concrete.
POWERBALL. The biggest lottery jackpot in the history of the Earth has concluded and out of millions and millions of players, there are but two winning tickets.
Two tickets. They are right. You have a better chance of bong hitting mercury vapor on the surface of the moon than you do winning this high wire circus act.
2 tickets out of millions.
And the winning tickets aren’t from super metropolises like NYC. They are from Bum F**k Egypt towns where the mailman doesn’t need to know your address or name. He delivers your mail because he knows what kind of dog you have in your front yard.
Now everyone in those two tiny towns is saying, “Hey is it you?”
I know one thing for certain. It is not me.
One of the the tickets was purchased in Dearborn, Missouri. Dearborn is a city of 496 people.
That’s a city smaller than most graduating classes. It’s a city with less people than there are Crayola crowns in the bin of most elementary schools.
So like the bar at Cheers, everyone knows your name.
You gotta think everyone is saying, “who do you think it is? Is it Mable? That bitch. She doesn’t deserve it. She was having an affair with Bill behind Wilfed’s back.”
The ticket was sold at the Trex Mart, the only gas station in the whole town. The only place to buy a ticket? That is crazy. There are more chances of buying donuts in this tiny place than a powerball ticket. And the chances of buying a winning, Billion dollar ticket? Well the odds of that are like super gluing your eye balls to the bottom of a 747 flying to France.
How crazy is that?
The other big winner is in Fountain Hills Arizona. The 4 sons market is the store with the photographers filling up the entire front lobby.
This is the store with surveillance tape of a big dude wearing orange clothes jumping around showing everyone his ticket saying; “Dude are these the right numbers? Did I win. I won. Oh my God, I’m a partial Billionaire.”
As the robot on lost in space once said; “It does not compute Will Robinson.”
No it does not.
There were dozens of other millionaires created today. These are players who matched 5 of 6 numbers. That pays out like a million bucks. I can wrap my dreams around that pretty easily. You might quit your job, but probably not. You might get a financial team, but probably not. You might change your phone number but probably not.
One haggard looking guy said “it’s pretty cool, man.”
He was taking his wife or girlfriend, whichever, perhaps both, to the Red Lobster.
Nice. Way to go big spender.
Winning a billion dollars.
Now that is crazy.™