Banks have gall, they have temerity, they have the nerve to stick it to us again and again and again.
We’re they’re customers, but they treat us like we’re chattel riding in the back of a soiled trailer being wind blown across the flat lands.
Who the hell do you think you are Bank of America?
Mao Se Tung?
Ferdinand Marcos?
King George?
Remember how that ended? No taxation without representation home boy.
It’s not like I’m borrowing money. It’s not like I’m using a credit card. I’m talking about a debit card which simply allows me to buy items same as cash.
MY CASH. MY MONEY. NOT YOUR CASH. NOT YOUR MONEY.
They are bean counting bastards who steal your beans when you are not looking.
Bank of America is a dentist who yanks out bloody incisors without Novocaine.
Bank of America is a modern day pirate who makes struggling Americans walk the plank over a shark filled sea.
Who navigated that disaster? General George Custer at Little Big Horn?
What B of A fished out of the Country Wide financial toilet was a soiled dossier of lies.
Bank of America purchased a festering skum bucket of bad loans managed by left handed imbeciles in a right handed world of retardation. They need to recoup their losses and what better way to start than reaching into our pockets.
And it doesn’t stop with check card fees. Banks are bending us over in broad day light, on the alter of selfishness.
Free checking. Fah-ged-aboud-it!
Hmmmm. Maintain a mminimum balance or pay the light bill?
First it was the airlines trying to nickle and dime us to death with bag fees and seat charges.
Use the ATM? Pay more.
They don’t get it.
We’re struggling out here. We’re trying to get by. We’re tyring to feed our kids and live life half as well as our parents did.
Remember how that story ended? Robin Hood robbed from the rich and gave to the poor. Arrows filled the tax collector’s ass and soon the people’s revolt paid dividends.
Not Southwest.
Why pay for a bag when we’ll fly your bags for free, they say.
Exactly.
When I fly Southwest, I feel free to walk around the country. I want to feel the same way the next time I use my debit card and go to the ATM.
I want to be free from the pirates, free from the pimps, free from the cold blooded bastards.
And that is crazy.™