You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
How stupid humans have become!
DATELINE: LONDON
SURVEY: 26% of British teenagers believe that bacon comes from sheep.
Yum! Sheep-bacon? It also makes a fine sweater that tastes great with mint jelly.
You know why a 1/4 of teenagers in England believe bacon comes from sheep? Because they are iPod wearing, internet surfing mongrels who can’t read. They think everything in life should come instantaneously at the click of a button and if it ain’t in a video game, it’s not worth knowing.
Ignorant little dummies. If God intended life to come with a button he would put one inside your insipid little nose so when you picked it, you could at least be accomplishing more than churning up boogers!
So if 26% of these mutton chops think bacon comes from sheep. I bet the other 74% of these juvenile Einsteins think bacon comes from the supermarket. That at least makes sense. I’m amazed at the number of urban youth who don’t even realize that the packaged food we eat, that we purchase, starts out as four hooves and bad breath on the farm.
26%?
These are real statistics, not some Monty Python’s Flying Circus skit of the absurd. The survey was conducted by the Home Grown Cereals Authority and the National Farmer’s Union. It was given to 800 children and adults.
What this organization discovered should alarm and even embarrass every primate not currently swinging from a vine.
As if 26 percent was not enough of a red flag; how about 29%?
According to the survey, 29% percent of these same eager beavers believe OATS grow on trees.
Yes the Oats tree. You’ve heard of it, right? It’s like an Oak tree but also tastes great in breakfast cereal.
How about 17%? DOES 17% SCARE YOU? IT SHOULD!
The survey indicates that 17 percent of both children and adults are under the impression that eggs are a necessary ingredient in bread.
This would be true if that bread were French Toast.
I wonder how many of these idiots think sheep also lay eggs under Scotland’s largest Oats Tree.
I wonder how many of these junior achievers know that egg is the main ingredient in egg?
What scares me about this British report is I am sure that American kids are even dumber!
“Everyone should know where primary foods like cereals are grown and the role they play as part of a healthy, balanced diet,” said Peter Kendall, president of the National Farmers’ Union. “More than half the food consumed in the U.K. is produced on British farms, yet the public, and especially young people, are unable to make this connection.”
They can’t make the connection because food origins isn’t a bloody, sex filled, M rated video game. If knowledge came on a PS3 game cartridge, every teen in America and the U.K. would know everything that a Fulbright Scholar knows. If the game featured shot gun toting sheep who likes cigarettes and hookers, then this is what today’s youth would associate with sheep. If you want teenagers to know that sheep are also lamb chops, then these gangsta sheep must also savagely kill other sheep, slicing them into plates of leather clad “lamb chops.”
Hand out the same survey and ask: Where do sheeps buy prostitutes? See if they answer the supermarket or the local corner.
Create this video game and kids will know where food comes from, even if that food source is full of tattoos and STD’s.
I learned about sheep and the sounds they make from Sesame Street. Remember that wheel where you put the arrow on the animal and pull the cord?
Now-a-days you need a violent cartoon to keep kids interested.
Meanwhile Japanese kids are trading baseball cards with fun facts involving cold fusion and robotic engineering.
I guess when the bomb drops, and SKY NET takes over the world in a machine orchestrated Armageddon, the same video game junkies who think lamb chops come from pigs will be leading us in battles waged on computer screens with joy sticks.
When the end of the world comes, and the sheep gather under the mighty Oat Tree, we’ll see who’s laughing then?
And that’s crazy!