You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Narrower Airline Seats. Bigger Asses. An unadulterated scam being perpetrated on the American Flying Public!!
According to published reports, airlines are reducing the width of seats.
That tightness you feel on your wallet, is more than just the increase in fairs.
Your ass is literally being locked in by metal and a lap strap and some fat guy sitting next to you from Peoria who needs a 2nd shower and it’s only 8:30 am.
Reports indicate that seats are narrower and there are more seats per row.
Narrower and more.
In aviation world, that’s the equivalent of smaller burgers, more cholesterol.
Flying now-a-days is like putting on army boots in a sardine can. It’s a three alarm headache. It’s chilli poured down your pants and then doing gym-kata with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders.
Flying is an insult to all of us.
The airlines tell us they appreciate our business, but they really are bending us over and having their way with us.
How much more can these companies expect us to put up with?
We have no room, no food, stale oxygen and we’re lucky to have our luggage land in the same city as we do.
Flying comfort is a casualty, shot between the buttocks and our ever expanding waist bands.
Reports indicate that 9 seat rows are going to become 10.
That’s one more person to navigate over and around while trying to get to the lavatory.
Reports indicate that 18 inch seats will soon be 17″.
What gives?
One inch over and over and over adds up.
It’s all about the money.
More seats equals more money.
Since they can’t make bigger planes, they are making smaller seats. Smaller seats means more seats. Smaller seats means more seats. More seats means more money. More seats means comfort is a concept of the past.
A study by airbus says 18 inch wide seats is the narrowest a seat should be. The company actually commissioned a study showing that one inch makes a difference.
Ask any bride on their wedding night, they’ll tell you the same thing.
According to the study: a person sitting in a seat 18 inches wide has a 53 percent better flight. What a 53 percent better flight means is anyone’s guess? Is that the plane with the stripper pole?
A person in a seat that is 18″ wide falls asleep 6 minutes faster than the person who is stuffed into a seat that is even one inch less wide.
6 minutes faster? When you are being inhaled by the fat boy from Peoria, sometimes 6 minutes makes all the difference.
So airline seats are shrinking and passenger asses are getting bigger. This is a bad sign.
That’s like spraining your ankle and then trying to shove your swollen lamb chop foot into a pair of ballerina slippers.
Ouch.
How small are airline seats now?
According to abc news, they are 8 inches smaller than your typical movie seat.
They are 3 inches smaller than train seats.
They are 2 inches smaller than even the most congested baseball stadium seat.
Come on Airlines.
Really?
You gotta go and do us like that?
Tickets are costing more, planes are constantly full, and now we are putting more people in more seats that are smaller than ever before.
I would say revolt, but the only alternative is not to fly.
And when you are traveling from Boston to L.A., you don’t have many options.
The airlines have us by the proverbial short hairs.
Hey kid. Just go ahead and start kicking me in the back of the head now. What’s the difference.
17″ seats.
Coming to a flying den of thieves near you.
Life’s Crazy™