You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Bieber Busted.
Well here we go again.
Haven’t I seen this movie before?
Can you say James Dean? Too fast to live. Too young to Die.
Can you say Lief Garrett? obscure Tiger Beat reference.
Can you say Jim Morrison? Come on baby light my fire.
Justin Bieber arrested in Miami beach this past week and the news cycle has targeted him.
Can’t you just hear Vladimir Putin’s sigh of relief?
“I told you we have no security issues in Sochi!”
The Belieber was charged by Miami P.D. for dui and drag racing.
The 19 year old was spotted drinking in a strip club with his shirt off.
He Biebs; don’t you know the girls are suppose to take off their shirts?
Stupid kid.
I tune in to ABC GMA and there is Mr. Miami, Matt Gutman going live with the breaking news.
“Bieber is in lock up in the police station,” he says.
The report will indicte many facts that Justin’s mom will not want to take back to the book club.
He failed a sobriety test, paid for lap dances, and reportedly admitted to having drugs in his system.
He’s 19. He is filthy ass rich. He’s stupid.
It’s a media mess, a volatile combination for high profile trouble.
Would I listen to Bieber’s music?
Ha.
I’d rather lick the lubricating underarm of an NBA player after the fourth quarter in a sauna bath.
As much as I want to hate this kid, and trust me, I do, there’s a tiny part of me that relates.
I was Justin Bieber when I was 19.
Well except for the millions of dollars, fast cars and super models.
OK, what I am saying is that Like JB, I too was once 19 years old.
19 years old? You are a caught somewhere between child and adult. Too young to legally drink, old enough to die for your country.
19? You still wash your face with Clearisil yet you have to file a tax return to the man.
19? I kind of undertand the impulsive stupidity.
Bieber is a spitter and a speeder and a bong hitting belieber.
He is charged with egging and smoking and doping and beliebing.
He once said “I don’t give a X what they say. I know who I am and what I am doing in my life and what i have accomplished.”
Honestly, he said that? He’s 19! Yes, he said that.
But that’s 19.
19 doesn’t know anything.
19 is a Chinese crib set without directions.
19 is a jigsaw puzzle without a picture.
19 is hair jell and skinny jeans and the latest downloadable app.
When you are 19, you think with testosterone and alcohol.
You act impulsivly.
You are one part wild animal, one part idiot savant.
When you are 19, you do stupid stuff. It’s the mortar of the building blocks of life.
You have no fear because you don’t know any better.
It’s why soldiers are young.
But soldiers have commanders. Soldiers have rules of engagement.
When you sleep with an M-16, that’s a good policy.
Most teenagers don’t sleep with semi automatic weapons. Most teenagers don’t have platinum cards either.
Bieber is a pimply faced aberration.
19? I did dumb stuff, when I was 19.
I was a college sophomore and trust me, dumb was around every corner.
But South Central isn’t South Beach.
I wasn’t chased by the papparazzi, though I was once chased by an L.A.P.D. horse patrol.
I didn’t wake up with screaming girls outside my hotel room, though I was jack boot kicked in the ribs while sleeping on the front lawn of Palm Springs City Hall.
What you have here is a confluence of teenage stupid and major market money.
Most 19 year olds can barely remember to brush their teeth and their underwear on the same day without a call from their mommas.
And thank god for you mommas.
But Bieber has millions in the bank.
He has people to handle his every impulse, his every want, and trust me, a 19 year old’s impulses are a steam roller of want.
They throb and pulse and voraciously need.
19?
He’s easy to hate because he’s a jerk bag. He’s easy to despise because he is 19 and filthy rich. He’s easy to detest because he spits off balconies on babies. (I just made that up, but it could happen, he’s 19.)
I think if I had a ferrari and a super model girlfriend and a million dollars in a strip club, I could and would entertain the papparazi too.
I’d stand on my Lambo and flip everyone the bird.
I’m just saying, I hate Bieber, but I could have been Bieber.
But law is law, and if convicted, he is facing up to 6 months in jail.
I love the old guy legal team on GMA Nancy Grace and Dan Abrams.
Dan: Anytime you are arrested you get in trouble. But this, well, it’s not that big a deal legally. It’s a misdemeanor. His most serious charge is the resisting arrest. He wont serve time.”
Nancy: This is what concerns me, what dan says, but it’s would a could a should a. If he was home studying algebra he wouldn’t be arrested. When Dan talks about piling up, it has. The big problem, there are reports, his father was there with him last night. And Bieber is photographed at a table with alcohol bottles. I agree, it is concerning, resisting arrest, spewing the F bomb at the police. He deserved a spanking right there. He kept turning and confronting them.
And so it goes.
Bieber is 19 and he is on a collision course with an ice berg that is floating on the horizon. When his ship finally goes Titanic and sinks, if it sinks, is up to him.
Can he control himself, and contain all that comes with being 19 and young and dumb and full of ….
Personally, I don’t care about Bieber. But I feel for his momma, and for her sake, I hope her little boy can make me a Belieber.
Life’s Crazy™