You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Paying your hard earned money for a rock concert and the band bails after 3 songs.
DATELINE: ST. LOUIS
Published reports indicate Grammy winning U.S. rock band Kings of Leon cut short a recent concert in St. Louis.
Why did this Nashville base group call it quits?
Did the lead singer pull a groin putting on his g-string?
Did the band throw a hissy fit because their trailer was stocked with Dasani instead of Pelegrino water?
Nope, the reason the show was cancelled was a bird turd.
It seems that a pigeon didn’t like what he heard and dropped a king sized bomb on the queen sized band.
According to published reports, the pigeon poop landed in bassist Jared Followill’s mouth.
Not on his head, not in his eye, but in his mouth.
Yum. Bird Poop, the fresh-maker!
Witnesses say that’s when the band walked off stage at the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater after playing just three songs.
Kings of bird crap! is what I say.
Come on dude, what a wuss. Spit it out, gargle with some Mr. Clean and get on with the show.
You think Bon Scott of AC/DC walks out on his fans because some bird pooped in his mouth? Bon Scott would smear the crap on his lips and wash it down with Jose Cuervo.
Nothing chases bird feces like cold Tequila. Bon Scott would write a rock song about it. He’d make love to one of his groupies in it. It would be reckless and rocking and full of power chord thumping debauchery!
The local press reports that the house lights came on a few minutes later, and a venue employee announced that “due to concerns over the band’s safety, we are canceling the show. Please file out in an orderly fashion.”
Orderly fashion my ass! Where’s my refund you weak ass losers?
I want a rock band to rock, not to suck and the Queens of Leon did just that. They sucked! They forgot who they are and why they get to do what they do. Because fans are willing to shell out big bucks to watch them play.
If I’m a spoiled rocker, I swallow the bird crap, and rock on. Why not? It’s not like you took a bullet in the head. If you are going to get sick, you’re going to get sick. Be sick tomorrow. Rock on tonight!
The bassist should have pulled a page from Ozzie’s handbook and bitten the bird’s head off. The crowd would have gone bananas.
Instead of Kings of Leon SUCK BIRD TURD bumper stickers, you’d have life long fans.
Write a damn song about that.
Kings of Leon drummer Nathan Followill took to Twitter to respond to messages from fans upset at the cancellation.
“So sorry St. Louis. We had to bail,” he wrote, explaining that the show was stopped because a pigeon had defecated in Jared Followill’s mouth.
“Too unsanitary to continue,” he added.
Too unsanitary to continue?
Rock n Roll ain’t sanitary! Was Led Zepelin sanitary? You think the WHO were sanitary throwing up in their shot glasses and drinking it. Rock and Roll is about doing crazy crap. It’s about crapping thunder and occasionally eating bird crap.
Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll and unforeseen aerial displays of pigeon excrement. Roll with the Rock Leon Roll with the rock.
The band blamed the venue for the incident and apologized to fans who had traveled to see the band.
The bassist for opening band the Postelles was also hit with bird droppings during their performance, but they managed to finish their set.
You know why they finished, cause they got the balls that you left at the door when your star rose on the national spectrum.
The concert promoters issued a statement shortly after the incident Friday night offering refunds on all tickets.
I’d take that refund, buy a Kings of Leon CD and then wipe my butt with it.
It’s only rock and roll but it’s crazy.