You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. ™
Lindsay Lohan is CRAZY. But we’re all crazy too.
You know why? Because of the way we celebrate celebrity.
Lindsay Lohan is a celebrity, though I’m not sure why. Some people act like she’s better than the rest of us, though I don’t know why. But Lindsay Lohan isn’t better than us. She’s worse than us which is why we should treat her for what she is; another pill popping washed up movie lush.
As most of the free world knows by now, Lohan is in jail charged with violating her probation. The Chinese in China know it. The English in England know it. Even the Yanomamo Indians of the south American Rain forest have bets on whether Lindsay will get out early for good behavior.
Lohan being incarcerated is one spectacular issue. What is becoming even more repugnant is what a whiner she is. Apparently Lindsay doesn’t like being locked up. Lindsay doesn’t like being in jail. She doesn’t like guards telling her what to do and when to do it.
Lohan doesn’t like prison food, she doesn’t like getting sold for a pack of smokes. She doesn’t like strip searches.
COUGH COUGH
She doesn’t like the other prisoners, and apparently none of her fellow bad girls like her either.
Reports out of Los Angeles indicate that when Lindsay cries at night, the jail goes on lock down. When Lindsay has visitors, the cell block is secured. Apparently, when Lindsay goes number two, the jailhouse takes five.
According to British Publications; The 24-year-old allegedly broke down in tears after prisoners at the Lynwood women’s prison chanted “fire crotch” at her. This is an obscure reference to the “Mean Girls” actress’ frequent sexual escapades, the Daily Mirror reported.
Fire Crotch? Are you kidding me. Fire Crotch? What does that even mean?
Fire Ants? I’ve seen them. Fire Door? I’ve used one before. But Fire Crotch?
I guess that means she is sexually active and her crotch has a mind of its own. Sources close to the L.A. Co. Sheriff’s office say Lindsay Lohan’s crotch is such a renegade, it has been tossed out of bars on its ass, if that’s possible. Sources close toLohan’s crotch say Lohan’s crotch is a suspect in a Burbank convenience store robbery. A mugshot of a crotch clutching a MAC 10 was distributed in the neighborhood much to the horror of a local convent. And Lohan’s crotch once held a press conference to deny all allegations of drunk driving on PCH. Lohan has an outspoken crotch to be sure, so for the prisoners to call her fire crotch, might just be appropriate in this case.
Here’s more from the British Tabloids which are not exactly known for their accuracy and fairness:
“Lindsay would lie there shivering all night, crying and covering her face with her hands. Her wailing was keeping everyone awake . She had a hysterical fit, crying and yelling, so she got put in isolation,” said Cheryl Presser, who was released from the jail Friday night.
Now here is the thesis of this blog entry: Who the F*** is Lindsay Lohan? Why do we care about Lindsay Lohan? What did she act in again? When Mean Girls didn’t get the academy award, I scratched it off my “Bucket” list.
So what is the attraction? Why did paparazzi nation show up on the jail house steps to get a glimpse of this skinny drunk girl going to the slammer. She’s not Pamela Anderson intoxicating. She’s not movie star gorgeous. She’s just kind of there, like dryer lint that static clings to your warm socks.
Who cares about Lindsay Lohan. I say let her mingle with the other jail dykes. If the guards treat her like every other prisoner, then maybe she’ll get the message that jail, for lack of a better term; SUCKS.
Do the crime, do the time, so they say.
Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail for violating the probation terms of her 2007 drug and alcohol case by not attending enough alcohol education classes.
However, it was expected she would serve just 14 days due to prison overcrowding.
90 days reduced to 14 Days.
Is that even possible? What is wrong with the criminal justice system in this country.
I went to Saudi Arabia and they warned us before we got off the plane. If you steal something with your right hand, they will cut off your right hand in a warm and fuzzy part of town known as Chop Chop Square.
That principal was pretty consistent for other crimes and body parts. Example adulterers lost their manhood in Chop Chop Square.
Apparently theft and adultery are not big problems in Saudi Arabia. Maybe we need more of that attitude here.
SHUT UP AND DEAL LINDSAY LOHAN. TAKE YOUR MEDICINE LIKE A BAD GIRL.
“She’s not treated like if it was anyone else going to jail,” Maria Medina, a relative of an inmate at Lohan’s jail tells PEOPLE magazine. “Like, if they even want to bring her new clothes or bring her anything, they put the whole facility on lock down. It happens all the time.”
Los Angeles Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore denied Medina’s claim. “It’s business as usual. Lindsay’s getting no special treatment,” he told PEOPLE on Saturday. He also said there is no such thing as “lock downs.”
A million Yanamamo Indians, who tie their foreskins up with a piece of animal gut as part of a formal dress ritual say; That’s Crazy.