You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Pulling over a motorist so you can give him a toy. “There’s two kids in the back seat,” the rookie officer says, flipping on the wig wags. The siren of his cruiser begins to wail. He hangs a you turn, crossing over the double yellow like […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™ Holiday Shopping. It should be a biblical experience filled with the good will and merriment of the season. It should be children on Santa’s lap and little elfs handing out candy canes as you park your car. It should be Moses inscribing your Christmas boxes with […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ A mother who steals with her child. Christmas Made Me Do It, she will tell me. I walk into her simple apartment and I am surrounded by tears and woe is me. I feel warmth, so I know she has heat. I see lights, so I […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ “Hey little girl. Do you want some candy?” It sounds like a creepy bad joke from a 1960’s tv show. It sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit where the creeper is living in a van down by the river. But sometimes the worst joke is […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Protesters walking through the city, threatening to shut down the interstate, again. It’s 8:30 on a Friday night and a group of 75 protesters is marching across Nashville. It was an orchestrated event. The police were prepared. The protesters were organized. The media was informed. But […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Hearing from a ghost. It’s a whistle in your soul. It sounds like the wind rushing down the chimney flue. It brings back memories of times you thought were forever gone. When the ghost calls, you are transported mentally to another plane, another dimension. His words […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ A motorist telling a cop there’s a dead baby in the trunk and the cop not checking. Can you imagine. “There’s a dead baby in the trunk, officer.” “A dead baby? Oh well, then. Please drive on and have a nice day.” “No ticket, officer?” “Of […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!™ Less is More. Or is it? Remember when Less was less and More was More. Those were the days. By the transitive properties of philosophical rationalization, Less should mean Less. If I put LESS Ex-Lax in my buddy’s Frosted Flakes, chances are he spends less time on […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy. The end of Fantasy Football. It’s sad, like breaking up a relationship that had so much promise. When fantasy football ends, watching games loses some of their intensity. A garbage TD with no time on the clock doesn’t mean as much when you don’t have some […]
You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™ Men and Women. Women and Men. It’s a boiling pot of DNA. It’s a misunderstood dynamic as old as time. Men and women – it’s enigmatic like the Lockness Monster. Women and men – It’s a black hole in a quasar in alpha centuri. Women are […]