You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Gender differences.
We all have one head – two arms – one appendix. We all bleed and have an insatiable desire for McDonald’s fries.
As members of the human race we need love and like plush Corinthian leather under our ass when we drive.
But apart from this, men and women couldn’t be more different!
From amphibious slime bags to hairy tree swingers, men and women evolved. Though the same species, we might as well be from different universes.
The differences between the species is Grand Canyon wide and
hard to understand like reading the binary code of your hard drive.
Men are bigger and stronger and quick to perspire through a wedding tuxedo.
Women are smaller and Indy car quick to criticize us for changing the television too much.
Men like beer and tend to scratch themselves without conscious.
Women are sweet smelling and find spirituality at Macy’s.
Men are hunter gatherers. We are perfectly designed for fantasy football – starting fires and reckless on-line gambling.
Women are nurturers,and keepers of the birth. Their physiques are perfectly suited for continuing the species and looking good in a thong.
Men lack eloquence, often grunting barbaric thoughts.
Women are loquacious and confident, letting the male species know who controls the key to the sacred squeeze box.
Men are pranksters and will pass gas to enhance a good story.
Women are more reserved and conduct themselves with the detente of a White House party planner.
Men are hairy like a Rocky Mountain possum. Women are soft and interesting to look at naked.
Why can a woman remember the serial number of a dollar bill she once spent at Target while a man can’t remember his own anniversary date.
Men spend a lifetime dreaming of sex. Women spend a lifetime dreaming of new shoes.
The only time men don’t think about sex is when a defensive back snatches a pass out of the sky and runs it back for a touchdown.
Women don’t know the difference between the Mike Linebacker and a nickle defensive package.
That’s OK.
Men don’t understand the need for Jimmy Choo shoes – nail appointments – or which side of the plate the salad fork should be placed.
The differences between the sexes is crazy and it all dates back to the beginning of time.
It is with this cosmic understanding that we genetically mutated down the fork in the road of evolution.
Women are Crazy. Men are Idiots.
It is what it is.
Women are crazy, because they were forged in a frenetic furnace of creation millions of years ago.
If women came with directions; it would have a manufacturers warning that reads: Unpredictability – volatility and emotional instability possible.
Men on the other hand come from the same primordial stew pot, but somehow our DNA strand is less complicated. Unlike women who were forged with Tabasco sauce, men are little more than dirt, bacteria and hair. Because of this we are blissfully less aware of minute changes in our universe.
Maybe this is why Men love Women and Women love Men.
OR
Maybe this is why we cannot stand the sight of each other.
Either way: Women are Crazy. Men are Idiots.
And that is crazy.™