You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Being ridiculed by millions of people dumber than you for blowing a million dollars on national TV.
And all you had to do was read 3 simple words.
Good Morning America devoted an entire segment to it in lieu of other news.
I guess flight 370 was found.
I suppose that Russia is pulling out of Crimea.
Perhaps that unpredictable North Korean dictator with the crazy hair didn’t feel like nuking anyone that day.
Good Morning America knows news when it sees it and the morning news juggernaut was all over the wheel of fortune story.
OR as they like to call it: Wheel of Fortune Misfortune.
Cute.
The story was painful to watch. The contestant was a college kid, and he had all the numbers in the puzzle turned.
It was a game of hangman with no way he could get hung.
It was a game of russian roulette with no bullets in any of the chambers.
Or so the kid thought.
Indiana University freshman, Julian Batts spun the big wheel and it landed on the narrowest of slivers of chance.
A million dollars!
The kid guesses a letter and bam, there’s 3 of them.
Vanna turns the blocks and there are no empty spaces.
It’s a game of chance with no chance.
It’s like betting on the pass line knowing you are going to roll a 7.
It’s like having 13 and doubling down knowing the next card is 8.
Batts had every single letter in the puzzle.
He is a winner!
All he had to do was read this one simple line:
Mythological Hero Achilles
I would like to solve the puzzle Pat.
America wants you to solve the puzzle young man.
It was right there for the taking. It was a big juicy hamburger under the heat lamp, just begging to go home with you.
Mythological hero Achilles.
Say it and get the hell out of there Big Time.
Not a letter missing. No chance for error. It’s the surest of sure things. It’s like someone giving you the numbers to the lottery a minute before the drawing.
The hardest thing is figuring out how to collect the cash and moving to the Caymans without the IRS noticing.
It was money in the bank. It was a sure thing.
Just read the sentence Mr. Batts.
The kid’s in college for God’s sakes. Obviously, he can read, right?
The young man begins. He gets Mythological. he gets Hero. Then he shoves a pastrami sandwich in his cheeks and butchers the money word.
With tongue firmly planted in cheek, he enunciates; “A – Chill – Is.”
There is a pause and then a groan.
I think there is a buzzer and a sour look of consternation from Pat Sajak who has seen many things but never a miss this bad.
This is throwing a dart at the broadside of a barn and hitting yourself in the eye.
It doesn’t get much worse than this.
Batts mispronounces the Greek God Achilles.
It’s hard to watch. It’s tougher to listen to.
A Chill. Is.
What the hell does that even mean?
A Chill Is – in the air?
A Chill Is – not what it’s cracked up to be.
Some say he should have won the chance for the million.
Others say he should know how to read a word if he is on a show about guessing word puzzles aloud.
“it hit me like a train,” the befuddled college kid said on GMA. “I didn’t know how to react.”
The morning news program contacted the producers for the show who said: “when a contestant tries to solve a puzzle they must pronounce it using the generally accepted pronunciation.”
“I didn’t feel like I made a mistake, he said. “but i solved it entirely. I just had to read it. I did my best.”
GMA shows him missing two other easy puzzles that day as well. But in the end, the kid won the grand prize.
“it was a dream and one of the best experiences so far.”
Wow.
It’s not often that you have a chance to win 1,000,000 dollars. You never get to win a million dollars by simply reading a simple sentence.
Sad but true.
Remember: A Chill Is In The Air.
Do I win anything for that? No.
F Off Pat Sajak.
Life’s Crazy™