You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
A web site that tells you the optimum time to go tinkle while you are watching a movie.
For those of you tiny bladders out there, this is the must have Christmas gift of the season.
For the rest of us who watch movies the old fashioned way, we’ll just cross our legs and grimace till the closing credits.
A cyber alert when to go pee; are you crazy?
You’d think I was banging my head with the stupid stick on this one, but it’s for real. There is a web site, and now an iphone application, that will literally have movie goers standing in the aisles running to relieve themselves.
The iphones reportedly vibrate in your pocket alerting you when a boring scene is coming up. The web site is loaded with crucial urination information like; how long you have to relieve yourself before the action jacks back up. The iphone version even tells you what you missed during your potty break.
While taking your silver screen constitutional here is something you might read: Jack stares aimlessly at the surging Pacific while contemplating the lunacy of his life from the pier. Just then a scruffy dog approaches, lifts his leg and pees on Jack’s leg. Jack buries his head in hands.
Good time to hit the can. Thanks for the electronic nudge to the John.
Can I just say; anyone who uses this application is so addicted to the internet and the fast paced, hard snorting crack of technology, that that they need to jump off that pier with Jack.
Has it really come to this? I can’t decide whether to hold my urine and judge when I have to use the facility at the theater?
Outside of suckling at mom’s boob, peeing is probably the first thing you do on planet Earth. Are we too tired to gauge how full our bladder is? Can we not go before the film and hold it like your grandpa did back when he walked 10 miles to school?
I guess not. Should I pause writing here, so you can go and drop your pants? I’ll wait for you.
Not.
According to the AP, the web site is the brain child of an Orlando man who doesn’t know much about movies, but apparently has a better than average knowledge of urine.
In case you can’t wait to finish this post, here is one link to the urination insanity.
VIDEO: iPhone App Offers Summary
If you are still reading, thank you. Don’t forget to tip your bartenders and waitresses on the way out.
According to the article; Dan Florio is the creator of RunPee.com, a database of the best times to head to the bathroom during a movie. The Web site takes the guesswork out of potty breaks by telling techno-geeks the prime dead spots in a film.
Guess work? Is watching a movie really rocket science? You sit, you watch, you vegetate. Maybe your bladder engrosses with urine.
Here’s my advice; HOLD IT. Because when you pull your stupid iphone out of your pocket and it tells you to go tinkle, I’m sure that it illuminates like a radon filled alarm clock. Suddenly, your full bladder is filling my pupils, and I am the one getting pissed.
Florio reports that he sits through the films and logs the best time to pee.
Attention single women: Dan Florio is available for dating and kid’s birthdays. I mean how cool a guy can Dan Florio be? He sits in movie theaters and notates dull spots thinking about you and your restroom needs.
Florio tells the paper he has a philosophy degree and a bladder and an iphone all of which makes him uniquely qualified to create a site like this.
I must be the only one who thinks this is crazy, because the article reports that RunPee.com gets up to 8,000 visitors a day, and more than 10,000 people have downloaded the iPhone application.
And here is some vital info; according to Florio 60 to 70 percent of RunPee.com users are females, a fact he attributes to the difference in male and female bladders.
Again; ladies, what are you waiting for? Can you say eligible bachelor and excellent conversationalist, as long as the excretory system and nano-byte technology are high on your list of turn ons.
Here’s something you might like ladies. The app costs .99 cents to download. Maybe when Florio isn’t in the dark, or the bathroom, he’s at the bank.
Now that’s Crazy!