You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
The President and his tan suit.
The President of the USA takes the lectern and talks to the planet bout Russia funding and arming Ukrainian Rebels and what does the internet vomit back?
The president is wearing a tan suit.
A tan suit?
WTF?
Who cares?
It’s not like He’s Prince coming out on stage wearing violet crushed velvet and a neck ascot.
The suit, tan as it might be, was sharp and understated.
For lack of a better description it was tan. A coffee colored blah of conservative.
He was also wearing a a white shirt, and a boring ass beige tie.
His sartorial selection was exciting like wonder bread.
He was talking about pernicious world events that could put Americans in harm’s way.
But the internet didn’t hear his message.
The internet only saw his clothes.
Is America so shallow, so easily distracted by social media that we can’t summon up a reasonable thought.
Are we monkeys hypnotized by a swinging gold chain and a banana?
The Gawker Headline reads: “President Obama Shames America by Wearing Wack-Ass Tan Suit”
Wack Ass?
WTF is Wack Ass?
I wear tan suits. I have never felt shame. I certainly never felt Wack Ass. Trust me. I’d like to feel more Wack Ass.
I may have felt boring, but that’s where a crisp tie that says “Kiss my ass you Russian Bastard” comes in handy.
Wack Ass?
Is that what what you do to a donkey to make it go down the trail at the Grand Canyon?
“No One Heard Anything Obama Just Said Because His Tan Suit Was So Loud” reads another headline from the Wire.
Really?
I was listening. I heard him. I was interested if we were going to war with Russia or Iraq or both?
I actually didn’t realize he was wearing a tan suit. I would have noticed if he was bare chested and Hawaiin Tropic Girls were rubbing him down with oil, but that didn’t happen.
Trust me, that I would have seen.
What would Twitter say about that?
Prez embarasses nation under the influence of coconut oil and red fingernail polish.
Those on Twitter likened his tan suit to a sign of weakness.
“Pres. Obama wearing a tan suit sends the wrong message to our allies in the region. Once again he fails to understand optics,” tweeted @Gus 802.
Well Gus 802, and I can only imagine your 802 because 801 other guys named Gus were more original than you when they picked the Twitter handle: Gus.
So Gus, you are entitled to your opinion, but you should be more concerned about whether Putin is listening to the words or looking at a suit color.
The president pretty much drew a straight line between Russia and money and weapons and separatists.
That could get pretty hairy if push comes to shove.
Tan suit, blue suit, Red Suit, hirsuit.
We’ll need more than Dr. Seuss to help us decipher it all when the bombs start falling.
Sometimes Americans should just listen, digest the moment, and think before speaking.
But all too often, in this regurgitative regime, Americans get on Twitter and vomit stupidity. Their 140 character tweets are as substantive as dry chicken noodle soup mix.
So to the dummies thinking about tan suits, do me a favor, understand the issues that might affect your world, and the world of your children.
Get on Twitter and howl about that.
Life’s Crazy ™