know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Semen flavored yogurt.
YUK.
Did I just write that?
DATELINE: ALBUQUERQUE, N.M.
It’s here that a grocery store worker pleaded guilty to handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample at a market.
According to published reports, Anthony Garcia admitted to putting some of his semen on a plastic spoon that he was handing out to customers.
Garcia then approached a female customer and offered her a sample.
OH MY GOD!
What nerve, to hand out his own DNA flavored yogurt? That is so foul, so disgusting, you want to take a pitch fork a ram it into this guy’s eye.
Who does this? A ghoul that’s who?
And it all starts so innocently.
“sir would you like to try the Pepperidge Farm sausage?”
“Mam, how about a sugar cookie made with zero calorie Pam?”
It’s a no brainer. It’s free. Of course you’ll try it.
Then the surprise so hideous, it’s like finding out the kid with the Jason mask isn’t just dressed for Halloween.
It’s just wrong, unacceptable, putrid.
“The criminal conduct to which Anthony Garcia pleaded guilty today is completely outrageous,” U.S. Attorney Kenneth J. Gonzales said after Garcia’s appearance in federal court.
What’s crazy is that this crime was reported, investigated and prosecuted.
According to police reports, the woman told police that after tasting the sample, she spit on the floor several times and wiped her mouth on the garment she was wearing to get the taste out of her mouth.
In the greatest grocery store investigation ever, the cops took samples of the woman’s spit from the floor and took the garment she was wearing as evidence.
Police say Garcia was linked to the yogurt through DNA samples.
The yogurt freak is looking at 3 years in prison.
I think Garcia will have fun in prison tasting all types of things. Not only will he eat the soap in the shower, he’ll probably get to taste his cell mates ass.
Garcia deserves to be made an example of, to be exfoliated by a hive of angry bees. He should pummeled by female shoppers whose coupons are no longer accepted. He should be made to have personal relations with a race horse loaded up on Viagra.
Maybe prison will afford him that kind of opportunity.
And that is crazy.