You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
The gift card.
Merry Christmas here’s your gift card.
Are they impersonal? Maybe.
Do they say to the gift receiver I don’t care about you because I didn’t take that much time to actually buy you a whatever it is you might or might not like?
Not necessarily.
Last Christmas I bought my daughter a lot of gifts. I went to a variety of stores and picked out things I thought she would like.
But the teenage female is a mixing bowl of recalcitrance.
She pawed at the paper and the box and tossed it aside like gefilte Fish at a taco bar.
Some of the items made it home. Some of the items remained here in my house right where she left them.
Every day I pass by these gifts that were snubbed, rejected, regurgitated without so much as a care.
Never again. Never ever again.
That’s what I told myself.
And if you can’t be honest with yourself, then who can you be honest with.
Daughter; I love you, but don’t expect any big ass box with a big bow this year.
Ain’t happening.
I found out what stores you like and I walked to the front of the line and said.
“Gift Card please.”
It was liberating, like cutting the tether ropes to a hot air balloon.
Woosh.
Away I went.
“How much do you want to put on that card?”
And so it went.
While mother’s and gaggles of ridiculously dressed teens pawed at racks of clothes that seemed more suited for circus performers and Times Square hookers, I breezed through the mall.
Get what you want, I thought to myself.
Not investing the time? Not even close.
I am making the biggest effort ever. I am physically in the stores that I know my children like. I am probably dedicating more money than I would have if I bought that mop head with gold frill on sale for 14.99.
Impersonal? Hardly.
Smart. This is the gift that gives.
When my daughter opens this card now, her brain can swirl with the thoughts of wow, what can I get? I wonder if my friends want to go shopping with me and make it a girl’s day out? I hope that purple circus moo moo is still available.?
Whatever.
I’ve done my yule time job.
I “DADDED” up this year.
I was Santa Claus with a list as long as a teenage girl can dream.
In fact, I spent more this year on my kids than I did last year. I spent a fraction of the time spending more on them. I had so much time left over I even bought myself a couple of Donald Trump dress shirts with those white collars I like so much.
Thanks gift card.
Impersonal?
Genius.
And that’s crazy.
NBC did a hard hitting expose on gift card.
Are they worth the money? Are they impersonal?
$29 billion dollars are spent on them this year.
I’m sold.
Merry Xmas
And that is crazy.