You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.
The sports the Olympics calls sports. Many seem like activities or games you might play at a family reunion.
As I write this, I am watching 2 fat middle aged men competing in a pistol competition.
It’s called rapid fire pistol shooting and it is an event in the 2012 games.
Quite honestly it looks like it should be sponsored by Old Grand Dad Wiskey.
The competitors look like maniacal terminators. They are pudgy and pasty faced and look like they are behind on their alimony payments.
They are wearing 1970’s sweat suits and ball caps from the Target discount bin. They have all the charm of postal clerks.
There is a mechanism affixed to their faces like high tech eye glasses. The device resembles horse blinders and it rigidly clings to their face, secured somehow by a metal rod and forehead glue.
Remember that metallic retainer kids wore in the 70’s? It looks a little like that only with Olympic logos.
Attached to this radar station of metal is a futuristic device that sits in front of the competitor’s eye. I suspect it is a laser sight, but it reminds me of Arnold Schwarzenegger red eye in the Terminator.
These Olympians are scary looking. Quite honestly I am frightened by them and I am concerned that they might just go postal on the crowd gathered to watch this absurd spectacle.
The premise for this sport is hold the gun still and shoot targets fast.
These Olympians look like they should be on an FBI most wanted poster or a milk carton; NOT competing for a gold medal
Should Olympians have laser guided eye balls to help them hit a target? Is this sport? Maybe, but at the Olympics?
And this is just one example of athletic extremes.
Did you see that Judo competition. The star of the sport weighs 400 pounds.
“He’s the biggest Olympian ever,” the announcer proclaims.
Great. has it come to this? 400 pound slow guys teeter tottering around on a mat, like some human Weebles Wobble but they don’t fall down.
What’s that about? This guy can barely move and he is wearing a smoking jacket as he clutches his competitor.
As I watch, I mostly hope he doesn’t have a coronary on live TV.
Then there’s badminton? Really. I played this the other day with some kids. I could have played while doing a beer bong. I could have played while eating a ham sandwich. I could have played while sitting in a lawn chair.
If anyone can participate in the Olympics while drinking beer, that is not a sport worthy of wall to wall television saturation
On top of that, teams from Asia threw their badminton matches. Why would you fly all the way to London to play like a beached carp? What idiots.
What is Zeus thinking as he sits on his Ancient Greek throne looking down at the modern Olympiad of excessive excess.
Why did I let them live? He is saying to himself.
In my estimation, there are too many sports. It’s like a bag of M&M’s that’s all one color. Sure they taste good, but so what?
The modern Olympics should be more like the ancient Olympics. It should be mostly running and jumping and swimming. Maybe some modern day stuff like basketball and volleyball, but after that, I’m sick of it.
Two man handball and tiddlywinks and competitive horse dancing?
Please. Leave it for ESPN the Ocho.
I love the Olympics, I’m just wondering where you draw the line? Competitive billiards? Why is doubles tennis a sport. Don’t we get enough tennis during the year?
Just because two people can dive at the same time doesn’t mean they should do it in England. Do it at Circue Du Soleil in Vegas.
I hate to be negative. The Olympics have been fun to watch. I love Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt.
But wall to wall coverage of backgammon to Old Maid just doesn’t make me want to stand up and salute the flag.
And that’s crazy.