You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
The Secret Service and the hookers they did not pay for services rendered.
The buttoned down agency charged with protecting the president is under fire for transgressions that look messier than a gerbil cooked in a microwave oven.
ABC News is calling it the biggest scandal in the history of the agency.
Personally, I think the guys hired to protect Lincoln at the theater that night might have raised more eye brows, but this is the age of the internet and the 24 hour news cycle.
The question is what the hell happened?
Hookers? Booze? Wild Parties? That’s what happened.
Is this the US Secret Service or a girls gone wild video.
In a weird way, I always thought Spring Break was a good training ground for anarchy.
Crowd control, unpredictable behavior. Sinister intentions. dangerous thongs, dysentery. You never know what you might see, right?
If you are guarding the leader of the free world you had better be ready for anything.
I have no doubt the boys were on a bender. They were playing Pancho Villa South of the Border. They were cocked, locked and ready to rock in multiple languages.
Sadly, I’m OK with a degree of general debauchery, as long as they take care of their business. That means protecting the President, and handling yourself with some semblance of decorum and America pride.
The question is, did the party train go off the tracks?
I am a proponent of blowing off steam. But you don’t need to wreck the room like you’re Motley Crue and somebody just told you there is no more Jack Daniels.
Apparently the fuse to this Molotov cocktail of forsaken careers was lit when one of the stupid ass agents forgot to pay an angry hooker who blew the whistle.
Now there are 11 agents under investigation and 10 special forces soldiers who are also going to get a deep probe enema from the generals back at the Pentagon.
One reporter asked if this was a “Wheels up, wedding rings off, mentality.
OUCH!
It sounds like the Hangover with more automatic weapons and less drug toting monkeys.
Diane Sawyer called the Secret Service an agency known for iron clad discipline and vigilance. Now you can add body shots and sexual indiscretion to the brochure.
Hard boozing, hooker chasing, living on the razors edge.
Boys will be boys. Especially in Columbia where the thongs are tight and the night life tighter.
James Bond drank and smoke and had sex constantly and he was the most bad ass spy ever. The difference is, Bond always paid his bar tab and tipped the hotel staff handsomely.
What happens in Columbia, stays in Columbia, right? Not this time.
These guys are so stupid, it’s laughable. 11 agents’ top security clearances have been yanked.
Anyone who has ever been to a bachelor party knows the code. Are these guys morons?
And this is just the beginning.
“How big was the problem? And is this a pattern of behavior?” the reporter asks.
I’d say the answer is Big and Yes.
The craziness at the Caribe Hotel was a pistol packing frat party that became an international embarrassment.
The reporter called it a stain on the badge. I am not sure it’s that bad, perhaps because I would have enjoyed pushing the room service cart into the fray.
Regardless, The Joint chiefs called it embarrassing.
“We let the boss down,” General Martin Dempsey said when pressed on the issue. “Cause nobody is talking about what went on in Columbia other than this one incident.”
Nope.
Sex and hookers and soldiers is always going to get the headline above the fold.
The presidential security detail arrived a week early for the president’s visit.
Apparently they had plenty of time to kill.
“Those at the Hotel Caribe were irritated with loud partying and heavy drinking and local women coming back to the hotel with agents,” the reporter bellows.
And they went to strip clubs too!
Lions and tigers and bears oh my.
Honestly. If they went to strip clubs, so what? Is this worse than going to a bar and doing Cuervo shots? What if they went to church and began guzzling the sacramental wine? Would that make the front page?
Why are we so judgemental?
If the boys had the presidential visit under control, then what’s the harm of blowing off some steam.
In Columbia, prostitution doesn’t carry the social stigma it does here.
Once again, the theme of today’s lesson: pay your hooker!
If the guys just paid for services rendered, there is no controversy.
President Obama was asked what he thought. “If it turns out the allegation in the press are confirmed, then of course i will be angry,” he said at a podium next to another world leader.
As long as there have been men, there have been hookers, there have been indulgences, and booze, and stupidity.
We’re men, it’s what we do.
The Secret Service is sworn to protect and serve at the highest level.
If only that idiot had paid his tab, I’d be writing about South American trade agreements instead of Brazilian tan lines and thong induced ecstasy.
And that is crazy.™