You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child and the media circus it has spawned.
It’s like a cyclone of insatiable curiosity. Cameras and scribes and producers screaming into ear pieces “Get me an exclusive with the mother!”
It’s crazy that the Governor could sire an out of wedlock love child a decade ago and nobody know about it.
He’s the damn Governor! He’s the Terminator. He’s the Governator by cracky.
I wonder if he took the cigar out of his mouth while he was cheating on his wife.
The story is producing a bubbling cauldron of crazy media attention.
Every day prompts a new headline:
Maria Shriver hires a mega-divorce attorney.
News crews swarming Bakersfield.
Fire plug of a woman hides head in shame.
Unbelievable details continue to emerge. How did this pedestrian plain Jane of a domestic servant give birth to Arnold’s bastard child?
“did the love child emerge from the womb and immediately cry ” put me back”
How did they hide it? Did the two women give birth at the same time? In the same hospital? Did Arnold cut both umbilical cords?
Yikes.
Details are emerging like puss from a swollen pimple.
There is so much dirt here that it’s hard to know where to start.
As far as Hollywood blockbusters go, this one is a red carpet, tip back the martini wowser!
The movie star, the Kennedy wife, and the other woman who looks like she might have crossed the Rio Grande in the back of a semi truck.
It’s crazy.
The other woman hardly has movie star chops. She is portly and dumpy like a Wal Mart bagger. If she wasn’t shielding her eyes from the glare of the spot light, you might see her in an orange vest on the side of the interstate picking up trash.
Is this the kind of woman who gets one of the biggest movie stars in the world to stray?
Numerous media reports have identified little miss home wrecker as Mildred Baena.
She divorced her husband and said she and her X didn’t have a child together. But there she is with a 13 year old child.
HMMMM? Is that Governator Jr?
The whole affair is sorted. It’s like the disgusting filth that collects behind the commode in your apartment. It’s a nasty public kick in the nuts for Arnold. He let his manhood guide him to another woman and now it has blown up his entire family.
His kids are tweeting like canaries saying this “s*** is hard.” The kids are even changing their hard to spell last name to Shriver to avoid embarrassment.
Can’t blame them. It’s a lot less syllables.
Maria has every right to file for divorce. Hopefully she’ll get half. She probably deserves more.
But divorce is not as easy as dividing a pie in half. It is painful and full of grey area and emotions that vacillate between love and hate.
The kids will need counseling. The parents will need support to get them through an ordeal that would be tough to swallow if they were average Joe citizens.
But his name is Arnold and hers is Maria, and this is going to implode and then explode like a media fueled public execution.
No one will be spared in what promises to be the OJ trial without the glove or bloody footprints.
According to published reports, satellite trucks are now parked bumper to bumper down the block. Residents not use to a gaggle of crap ass media bastards are concerned for the young kid who once walked his white poodle named Sugar through the neighborhood when he wasn’t swimming in his backyard pool or playing basketball.
“We just want this child to be protected as much as possible. We’ve all made mistakes and to totally destroy a child’s life over that would not be fair,” said Marilyn Steelman, who lives next door.
Many see this scandal as a turning point for the shaky political legacy of former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. I would think that right about now Arnold could care less about how he is perceived as Governor and more concerned if his kids will ever talk to him again or take his name.
And that is crazy.™