You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Roger Freakin Clemens.
The guy is damn near 50 years old.
He’s arguably one of the game’s greatest pitchers. He is battle tested on the diamond and sadly now in the court room.
He is a hall of famer whose reputation has been sullied by the accusation that he juiced. If not for this dark cloud, he would be an automatic first ballot HOF candidate.
If not for some monkey dung trainer hanging around a locker room collecting stool samples and hair follicles in a test tube, then calling the authorities, ratting out his buddy, The Rocket’s reputation would remain sterling.
I remember him pitching in the College World Series when I was in High School. He was overwhelming. Rearing back in that heinous burnt orange Texas uniform and throwing meteors.
Then it was off to Boston where he blew away major league hitters for 2 decades.
Now I’m watching Sportscenter and he is on the mound, pitching for the minor league Sugar Land Skeeters.
He is smiling, rearing back, throwing strikes. His 98 mph fast ball is a thing of the past. Now it’s in the high 80’s. But good God, the man is 50 years old. And to top it off he is throwing a shut out for
4 2/3 innings.
And he is throwing to his son, who is catching the game.
Wow.
The reporter in the dugout asks if the Houston Astros call tomorrow will he report to the team?
He laughs and says he isn’t ready for the majors.
The fact that anyone is even asking a 50 year old guy who has been out of baseball for 5 years is amazing.
Roger F-in Clemens: He is a locomotive of a man with a thunder bolt for a right arm.
He is the equivalent of Hulk Hogan in the ring, Patton in a tank, Deniro on a movie set.
What’s he done that has garnered all these metaphors?
He’s stayed steadfast to his statements that he was clean and he was rail roaded by the system where star athletes are guilty till proving Innocent.
The accusation? He juiced, took HGH.
Did he? Probably? Could they prove it? No.
So he’s innocent. end of story.
So what does he do? Slip into some sullied oblivion? Nope. He puts on a minor league uniform and climbs back on the hill.
And then he starts striking out kids who can’t believe their grandpa is fanning their ass.
This guy is the Paul Bunyon of baseball.
After a seemingly endless array of distractions and inactivity, and questions of his integrity and sportsmanship, the stud ass bastard proves that he is that good, tossing bb’s.
He looks like a super sized version of that Japanese World Series pitcher who mowed down the Goodlettsville, Tennessee kids.
Roger F-in Clemens.
This guy is a mountain of a man. And if America loves a rags to riches to rags to riches story, then this is it.
Will he pitch in the majors again? doubtful.
But is he compelling to watch mowing down 19 and 20 year old kids who should have the bat speed of a jack rabbit? You bet.
Go get em Rocket.
And that is crazy.™