You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
A planet made of diamonds.
This planet is definitely a girl’s best friend.
According to published reports, Australian scientists have discovered a far-off world they believe is a giant diamond.
My first my response is …
YEAH RIGHT!
Half these guys can’t even balance a check book or buy milk with the right expiration date.
Now I’m suppose to buy into a planet made of diamonds. Hey Copernicus, how many carats is that?
Why not a planet filled with a rich twinkie like pudding? Why not a planet meowing like a kitten on catnip?
B.S. How can I possibly disprove your hypothesis. I don’t a bunson burner, a test tube or a slide rule.
Well Professor Crazy offers this theorem.
First of all; these ostensibly brilliant star gazers used a radio telescope to look at this gem like spheroid in a void of darkness some 4,000 light years away. That’s not 4000 feet away or even 4,000 miles away.
That’s 4,000 light years away.
In case you’re wondering a light year is distance that light can travel in a year.
last time i checked light travels at 186,282 miles per second. That’s
11,176,920 miles in one minute. The distance of how far light travels in just one day is mind numbing. Now times it by 1.5 million.
I just don’t buy it. Scientists can’t figure out if coffee is killing us or prolonging our lives. They don’t know what is lurking at the bottom of our own oceans. They think there is water on the moon, but they are just guessing.
The moon?, that’s like 2 seconds on the speed of light distance chart.
If we can’t figure out something 2 seconds away, why would I think they can figure out something 4000 light years away.
I don’t. These scientists have as much chance of being right as as a guy with vomit on his shirt has of bringing home a super model.
The so called diamond planetoid might be out there, but it is orbiting in a black hole behind a nebula cloud, hiding behind some cosmic dust, and I don’t think anyone can see it.
It sounds like a scientific publicity stunt.
Dr. Michael Keith says the Parkes radio telescope revealed a spinning star called a pulsar, which emits a beam of radio waves.
Are you with me so far?
“The planet is likely to be largely carbon and oxygen, because a star made of lighter elements like hydrogen and helium would be too big to fit the measured orbiting times,” Keith said.
You see they blind you with science and ridiculous jargon and you just say well they are smart and I am not and well la dee da they are scientists and I bake cakes for a living and well they might be right.
Hmmmm. A planet made of diamonds? Why not a planet made of cream cheese and lox? Why not a planet composed of soiled pampers.
According to scientists, the planet’s density means the carbon and oxygen are certain to be crystalline, so a large part of the star may essentially be a giant diamond. Diamonds are basically carbon, which changes its form when crushed under immense pressure.
WHATEVER.
If this planet is made of diamonds then I am a leprechaun and the other celestial bodies all ready have planet envy.
And that is crazy.