You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
News is Crazy! Life is Crazy! People are Crazy!
If you were from planet Blogos and you landed your space ship on Earth for the first time, you would look around with your one big eye ball and say to your self; “Gobxooha?”
Translated: “These Earthlings are some Crazy Mothers!”
Why?
Just go to CNN, the gateway to crazy and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Let’s just start with the craziest story above and below the sea.
BP. THE FIASCO FROM HELL.
“I wish I could get my life back.”
Tony Hayward – Corporate Dumb Ass
Birds covered in goo. Shrimp boat captains crying on their poop decks. Fat tourists from New Jersey standing on the shore as toxic waste police walk down tar alley with plastic bio hazard bags.
Crazy!
And that’s just above the ocean.
The biggest internet viral hit this summer? A Lindsay Lohan sex tape? Are you Crazy? It’s a broken BP oil pipe gushing black crude 5,000 feet below the sea. This camera showed one static shot 24 hours a day for close to 3 months. It was wall paper for news organizations that have to fill 1,440 minutes every day.
I can hear the broadcaster now: “Let’s go back to our Deep Water Horizon camera shot. Oh my, it’s spewing more filth from its orifice than Chris Rock on HBO.
It doesn’t appear much has changed.
Let’s check back on deep water cam after this word from BOUNTY, the quicker picker upper.
This 100 day spill has been unprecedented in its scope which would explain the interminable coverage of this disaster.
Reporters wearing rubber gloves to do live shots. Sam Champion scuba diving through oil and calling it exclusive. Photo ops for politicians on the sand.
CRAZY.
While BP is high on my crazy news list, it’s hardly the only target for my vituperative darts.
I’ve always said NEWS is a four letter word.
As Al Pacino once screamed in a theatrical courtroom.
“I’m out of order? You’re out of order, This whole damn thing is out of order!”
So if NEWS is a four letter word, then so is LIFE.
Someone said the minute you’re born you start dieing. I wonder if that’s not true.
Life seems to be tossing cards from the underside of the deck. Just when you think you’re in the black, the electric bill shows up in the mail box and you’re sinking into the red again.
Life is a test. It’s a surprise inside the box of gooey Cracker Jacks. You never know what you’re going to get, but I assure it’s going to be a surprise.
You want theater of the absurd? I give you the front page of CNN: Saturday July 31st.
On the left: 800 Die in Pakistan.
On the right, Chelsea Clinton to wed in NY.
On the left, two people clinging to a dilapidated building as a raging river sweeps by. On the right, two people who didn’t get to a dentist early enough in life.
So here’s what I say. Don’t let life dictate the game to you. You take control of your own actions. When you are sitting at LIFE’s blackjack table, double down.
As my statistics teacher always said: “Bet big. Win Big.”
The next time the bills start stacking up, the next time the cat litter won’t absorb fluffy’s mess, the next time you’ve dropped your smart phone and the screen won’t illuminate, the next time gum gets stuck to your shoe:
Stop and take a deep breath. Look in the mirror and put a smile on your face. Do it for 10 seconds.
I guarantee that you will smile just looking at yourself. Once you smile, you will relax and know that life is life. It is a game. It is a test. It is questioning whether you are going to fold or go all in.
Recently life has presented me with some challenges that were unforeseen and unexpected. I like to call them fire doors.
What’s a FIRE DOOR?
Let’s say you’re in a movie theater. The walls are covered with blue velvet curtains. The seats are cushy and the air chilled to a comfortable 74 degrees. Then suddenly someone pushes you out the exit. Suddenly you are standing in a spartan hallway that offers you few options.
CLICK
That is the sound of the FIRE DOOR slamming shut behind you. there are no handles on this door and no way to re-enter the cozy theater you just left.
So what now? Do you bang on the door and hope someone lets you back in? Do you squat down on your haunches and cry tears that nobody will see? Or do you pull yourself up by your boot straps and walk into the unknown with a bit of trepidation, and a lot of resolve.
Bet Big. Win Big.
Eventually the hallway will lead you to other choices, other doors to enter. The doors may be labeled, but more than likely, the doors will be mysterious an unmarked. Entering the door will be a choice, a mystery, an adventure.
What I’m saying is that there is no right or wrong door. One may take you on a path that takes you on another path, but eventually you will end up where you are suppose to be.
That is life’s little game. You think you know where that path leads, but you don’t really know anything.
You are a tourist on a cruise ship in an enigmatic universe of question marks and sub atomic laughter.
So chill out and relax. Take a deep breath and smile at the face staring at you in the mirror.
If you want to feel better about your crazy life, all you have to do is turn on CNN and wait till the SELL GOLD commercials are over.
Watch the shrimp boat captain cry and the pelican covered in oil get bathed in dishwashing detergent.
CLICK
There’s another fire door closing and another opportunity opening on the horizon.
and that is Crazy!