Brette Farve is crazy. He’s a great quarterback, but I’m starting to think he is mostly crazy.
Retired. Unretired. Retired. Make up your mind dude.
This guy is like tourette syndrome. He’s as predictable as a roulette wheel. He’s as consistent as a dead beat dad. He’s as steady as a rip tide.
I swear I heard him retire a few weeks ago. It was major news on ESPN.
“The Brette Farve saga is over”, the sportscaster announced.
They were lauding him as one of the greatest of all time. He had the arm of Zeus, and the heart of a warrior. They are right.
I love Brett Farve. My son has a man crush on the guy. But at some point you have to S**t or get off the pot, farm boy.
A couple of weeks ago, I swear he retired. This time for good.
Then all of a sudden, he’s wearing a purple helmet. All of a sudden he’s a Viking and he’s telling the world that his doctor told him to go for it, and his 10 year old daughter told him he should win one more superbowl. Yeah right? Can you say orchestrated P.R.?
So that’s it, now he’s a Minnesota Viking. The world just has to say OK, I guess Brett Farve is a Viking.
How do you think that conversation went:
“Booty! Get your ass in here.”
“Yes sir,” Booty says as he rushes to the coaches office.
“Gimme your jersey”
“You heard me boy. Strip down. Give us your jersey.”
With a blank stare, Booty pulls the number four over his shoulders and the coach kicks him in his lilly white ass.
“Go see Smitty and get yourself a new number Booty.”
Someone tosses number 58 at him. It’s a linebacker’s number. Booty looks at number 58 with a questioning stare.
The equipment man laughs, knowing that Booty is soon to be bagging groceries at SafeWay.
Thanks Brett Farve. Welcome back.
Brett Farve’s inability to make a decision is not so unique.
Did Brett Farve orchestrate this study? He is Norwegian right? Wasn’t his grandpappy named Sven Farve? Ah, now I know why he signed with the Vikings?
So if you get headaches from drinking coffee, maybe your really getting a headache because Brett Farve can’t decide whether to retire or not?
Button up that chin strap Brett Farve because I think it is going to be a season of caffeinated lineman looking to take that number four and shove it up your John David Booty!