You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
Duck Dynasty.
Quack Quack.
It’s reportedly the number one reality show in history.
What is it about these Bayou beards that has America hypnotized?
They say this show is more watched than “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” the television version of lint.
They say more people watch Duck Dynasty than Big Brother. That’s like saying more people get whooping-cough than V.D.
That’s a sad commentary America.
I’ve never seen the show?
But I’ve seen plenty of news people talk about it.
The media talk about these Bayou Bafoons like they are swamp royalty.
They are just wealthy trailer denizens who done good.
So I admit I’ve never watched the show.
That’s my bad. How can you write about something, comment on something, you have never seen?
While it’s uninformed, and hardly journalistic, it is my right as an American to be as dumb as I choose to be.
Try being that dumb in Afghanistan and they behead you in chop chop square.
In America, when you are that ignorant, you get to start a Facebook page and LIKE something 1.6 million times.
Last time I checked, there’s nothing in the U.S. constitution that says I have to be smart, or informed, or even balanced.
It’s called freedom of speech. My forefathers died for my right to write!
The constitution protects my ability to say what I want to about these long-haired stinky duck hunters.
I know as much about Duck Dynasty as women’s shoes.
So it is with this admission of ignorance that I begin this diatribe on a controversy that centers on Homophobic statements attributed to the reality show’s patriarch.
According to You Tube footage that has emerged, The Duck’s leader, Phil Robertson was on stage behind a podium letting his brain leak into a microphone.
This scraggly faced, bearded, moonshining mountain man-made a negative statement about homosexuality.
The patriarch of trailer #23 says something homophobic and it registers low on the who cares meter.
But when you are the patriarch, the leader of the Duck Dynasty, the number one reality show in the history of reality shows, then that gets people talking.
Reality TV is dysfunction and America has taken the bait.
Phil Robertson is on video speaking his mind, speaking his heart, right or wrong and America is hitting the LIKE and UNLIKE buttons at a frenzied pace.
We don’t care this much about poverty or health care or food stamp abuse.
Why do we care about Robertson’s views on sexual orientation?
Please America, find a hobby. Go put some money in the basket beside the guy ringing the bell at the Wal Mart.
Do something constructive with your time.
Some call Robertson’s comments controversial. Some call his quacking disturbing. Others call his bloviations freedom of speech.
What did Did the Duck Dynasty Dip S*** say?
“Women with women. And men with men. They committed indecent acts with each other.”
And now the globe is all a tizzy.
Why.
These comments aren’t new. They are just uttered by a Duck, a very rich duck.
Had he been the guy on the other side of the trailer door, nobody would care.
America is polarized because America loves to be polarized.
Democrats vs Republicans.
Rich vs Poor.
Gay vs straight.
Less Filling vs Tastes Great.
You see what I’m saying.
America loves a good bitch session.
We like to hit the LIKE button and start Facebook pages and save puppies and pile on for a 15 yard penalty.
But at the end of the day, who cares?
It’s an exercise in futility, in freedom of speech, in sentiments that are antiquated, biblical, nonsensical.
Ducks Vs. Dynasty
The network, A&E is getting death threats.
Now that’s something we should be concerned about.
With school shootings and court-house shootings and work place shootings, Death threats are a concern.
I HATE CRAZY PEOPLE KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE.
Freedom of speech, over a controversy as old as time, and now someone is threatening to kill someone?
You disgust me sometimes America.
Because someone says something they believe, hurtful or not, informed or ignorant, you gotta take a side? You gotta start a campaign, a poll, a petition?
A & E has suspended Robertson.
That is the network’s right.
The family has said if Robertson doesn’t come back, they are out.
That’s its right.
This is an old-fashioned Mexican Stand off, only it’s about beards and money and tv revenues.
For the principal players, this has less to do with homophobia, and everything to do with green.
It’s about 400 million dollars in Duck Dynasty merchandising.
Gay or Straight, money will show the way.
But it’s the weak-minded moron on the periphery with the itchy trigger finger who scares me.
The Robertsons have released this statement: “as a family we cannot imagine the show going forward without our patriarch at the helm.”
Drink it up America.
Be stupid.
After all, it is the number one show in the history of the world, just ahead of the Kardashians, the stupidest show in the history of the world.
And no.
I haven’t watched their show either.
Quack Quack.
Life’s Crazy™