Americans like to sue each other almost as much as Americans like to watch girls gone wild videos, or have that second helping of potato salad.
Lawsuits clog the American Legal system like hair clogs a drain. Frivolous law suits are oily and slimy. So much of this legal vomit clogs the system, you need rubber gloves just to enter the American court house, and you need a pail of Draino to get anything done.
Think about it; You fall in the supermarket and you sue. You find a Rat in your mustard and you sue. Someone says you can’t paint your mailbox Canary Yellow and you sue.
If you can be disturbed by it, you can sue someone over it. It is a vicious circle. It reminds me of the chicken and the egg question. Are there too many frivolous lawsuits because there are so many lawyers willing to take these frivolous cases? Or are there too many frivolous lawsuits because God keeps making people who have pork chops for brains and a screen door for integrity?
Lawyers produce bad local commercials, like the the Ozarks produce bad dental hygiene. Ambulance chasers inhabit day time tv. They shout at the camera asking any unemployed viewer if they have a pain, an itch or adverse feeling about their life.
CALL 1-800-DROP-YOUR-PANTS-AND-KISS-OUR-ASS!
Did you take that recalled medicine? CALL. Did you get hurt at work? CALL. Did someone just give you a look that you feel was a little uncomplimentary. Please Call!
The American philosophy of “someone owes me something” is at the root of this evil. No one in this country takes responsibility for their own life anymore. Somebody owes me something is so pervasive its like a political and philosophical mantra. So why wouldn’t you fall, look around and then call a lawyer conveniently stored in your speed dial.
DATELINE NASHVILLE – A young woman’s trip to the top of the bar at Coyote Ugly Saloon didn’t have a Hollywood ending. The college student from Lexington, Ky., has sued the Nashville saloon in federal court, claiming the nightspot’s employees should have done more to prevent her tumble from its slippery bar last year.
Are you kidding me? The plaintiff in this case is seeking half a million dollars because she fell off a bar in a 2nd Avenue night club.
When I was in college; if I ever fell in a night club, that usually meant I was doing something outrageous, and in college, outrageous equals fun.
The Nashville case is sexy, because the club is Sexy. Coyote Ugly was featured in a film of the same name. The plot was pretty insipid, focalizing on bar patrons, drinking on the bar, and dancing on the bar. Meanwhile a wait staff that could have posed topless in Playboy overcomes some sort of manufactured diversity, looking for love and the meaning of life. The bar becomes a neon lit metaphor for survival and overcoming diversity.
The business plan of Coyote Ugly is simple. Pump up the volume, hire hot women who wear short skirts and cowboy boots, stop the normal bar activities every few minutes to line dance on the bar and demand that every patron inside the establishment order a shot of liquor and pour it down their gullets. Money in the bank, and a profitable recipe for fun.
That’s why this lawsuit is so frivolous. The University of Kentucky student made the choice to enter this adult playground. She made the decision to drink an adult beverage, and then she chose to get on top of a bar and do whatever you do on top of a bar, set to a country beat.
It was a Hollywood moment, until she fell and went boom.
You know what I say? Too bad! Pick your dumb ass up and go home. Sleep it off. Nobody owes you a damn thing college girl. You want to sue the bar? You want to blame someone? File a law suit against yourself. You should pay the bar for being drunk and exhibiting bad balance, for showing the good folks at Coyote Ugly in a less than their typical line-dancing light. You should pay the other patrons for ruining a good night out. If I go to Coyote Ugly, I want to see hot girls in skimpy outfits grind on each other on top of a bar. This is what they advertise, and this is what I expect. I have paid my money for this specific atmosphere. Because you showed all the grace of a dump truck, and hit the floor like a ton of bricks, there is a chance that the bar will change its policy. We should sue you. You may have ruined my future night out. And what about all the other people you inconvenienced that night? Did the paramedics come? If they did, was the music still blaring or did they shut it down? Were the bar wenches still grinding? or did they ask them to stop their salacious love fest? If you answer no to any of the above question, then as a bar patron, my night was less than advertised. I want you to pay for my drinks, and the emotional stress it put me under. Now I’m afraid to go to a bar and order a drink. I mean what if? What if another stupid girl falls down and the bar shuts down?
According to court documents; The plaintiff’s lawyer states: “They have a duty under Tennessee law to provide a safe place for their patrons,” If the business is going to invite people to dance on the bar then, “It should be kept dry just like the floor of the bar or the aisle in a grocery store.”
In legal filings, Coyote Ugly insists that its employees were not negligent and that the woman should have taken more care when she climbed onto the bar.
According to the article; the young woman could not be reached for comment on the suit.
I say Man Up America! Quit suing each other, take some responsibility for your own actions and shut the hell up why you’re at it.