You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy!
The lack of integrity and honor in the college coaching community.
Coaches come and go like well paid snipers. Instead of hiding in clock towers with the cross hairs pinning down recruits, they hold court in packed press conferences, all spit and vinegar, talking about how excited they are to be part of a family and tradition. It’s all a bunch of lies and hot air and stuffing their wallets after catching the latest gravy train.
“How could he leave us?” is the collective moan of befuddled fans and depressed players.
Anyone who has taken NCAA-biology knows that college Coaches don’t have hearts. Coaches are snakes in the grass, choking down rats, stuffed with festering disease. Coaches are sneaker wearing, bottom feeding scum, who lie and cheat and promise everything and then leave like a john in the night.
For Trojan-Nation, the snake vomited up the rat infested ooze this weekend as Head Coach Pete Carroll went from King of Troy to Emerald City traitor.
Boosters and recruits and current players were dumb founded.
Pete Carroll vacating the coliseum?
No way!
WAY!
In case you missed it, on Monday, after a circus of whispers and innuendo and well placed sources, Pete Carroll confirmed what we all suspected. He was leaving the Trojans to become head football coach of the Seattle Seahawks.
Domino 1 falls!
Trojan boosters felt betrayed as Carroll snuck out of town like a hobo riding a train. Recruits, headed for Exposition Blvd, got off airplanes headed for South Central. Recruits who had verbally committed years ago to play for SC, suddenly displayed hats with Gators and Bama Elephants instead of an intertwining S & C.
DOMINOE 2 FALLS! BOOM!
Just when you thought it was safe to put your vomit-sack away, Tuesday, the coaching carousel spun out of control again. And it starts when USC names it’s new head coach: Lane Kiffin. Just a year ago Kiffin sang Rocky Top in Knoxville as the head coach of the Tennessee Volunteers. He was young and brash and full of false promises about history and legacy and laying it on the line for the orange nation.
365 days later, he’ll be singing “fight on for old SC”
Why not? He knows the tune having worked under Pete Carroll during the glory years. He is movie star tanned and handsome. He’s got a wife that even Tiger Woods would leave! And the snake in the grass is a perfect fit for the Southern California lifestyle.
Vol fans thought they had found their man, who was ballsy enough to turn a program around. He came in guns a blazin and took shots at anything that moved in the SEC. Now Vol-nation has that 1000 yard stare that gets passengers of Middle Eastern Decent pulled into 2ndary inspection by TSA agents.
By all accounts, USC is getting the better end of this deal. Once you determine they are all snakes and whores and mercenaries with clipboards, Lane Kiffin is a good snake-whore-mercenary to lead a program.
But this is more than just one greasy rat coming to USC and leaving Knoxville. It’s the rat’s daddy, and the rat’s number one recruiter. Monte Kiffin adds instant credibility to any defensive alignment. H.S. kids will take off those Gator hats to play for the Defensive Guru, Monte Kiffin.
It doesn‘t end there. Ed Orgeron is also part of this 3 headed monster, and Ed Orgeron, while not much of a head coach in the SEC, was known as a bull dog recruiter. He has a gravely, Cajun way that seems to sell recruits and win over the mommas when it comes down to National signing day. In my estimation, you go after Lane to get Monte and Ed.
As if the stocking isn’t filling up fast enough at the University across the street from Felix the Cat, now there is word out of Westwood that Norm Chow is also bolting. Can you say bathroom scum!
So the excrement is still hitting the fan and many fans are wiping the fecal residue off the souls of their shoes. Whether you are a Trojan fan or a Volunteer fan, there’s something about this whole process that makes me want to shower.
5 year contracts become null and void after one year? How does that happen? Because the snakes slither through the loopholes of life that allow them to pledge their allegiance to the next big pay day.
DOMINOE 3 IS FALLING!
And all you sad Vol fans, don’t fear. Right now your administration is stealing some other college’s coach, who probably stood before the boosters and fans a short time ago and pledged his allegiance to FILL IN THE BLANK – NATION!
UNTIL THE MECHANISM OF COLLEGE COACHING CHANGES, DOMINOES WILL CONTINUE TO FALL.
Just leave the 20 on the night stand.
And that is crazy.