You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy™
calling 911 for sex.
It’s dumb and lazy.
It’s like going to the McDonald’s drive through for a prostate screening.
I guess you could do it, but why?
How horny are you that your best option is 911?
Cut your jugular with a pitch fork? By all means call 911.
Stick a tooth pick in your ear? Hit those digits?
But 911 for sex?
You’d have better luck with the paper boy. How about a lawn jockey?
If you’re that hard up, why no go to your local supermarket and squeeze vegetables.
What’s wrong with eharmony.com?
911 for sex?
There’s someone for everyone I am told.
911: 911 where’s your emergency?
CALLER: Me so horny. Me so horny.
911: Excuse me mam. This is 911 where’s your emergency.
CALLER: Can you send an officer to my house. I have an emergency in my pants.
911: Mam?
That’s not the actual call.
But it might as well be.
According to published reports, A Florida woman called 911. She lied about her car being stolen.
An officer arrived, and the 58 year old allegedly fondled him, asking him for sex.
What stones?
The officer left the scene. It doesn’t say whether he vomited or took a shower.
This story could’ve ended right here.
The officer didn’t arrest her. I’m guessing he didn’t call it in. He simply left. She could have had relations with her dishwasher for all anyone cared.
But this woman calls 911 again. She is reportedly upset that the 1st officer turned down her request.
911: what’s your emergency
Caller: me so horny. Me so horny.
911: mam you just called saying you were so horny
Caller: well now i’m angry and horny.
Fool me once right cops.
The boys in blue return and this time she gets cuffed and stuffed.
We’re told she was also a bit inebriated.
Life’s Crazy™