You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you crazy™
House Rules!
Stay if you lose. Leave if you don’t.
Vegas has a great business plan that’s predicated around the house cleaning out your wallet and not letting the air-conditioned door hitting you on the ass on your way out.
So when the Hard Rock Casino banned Ben Affleck from the black jack table, it caught my eye.
The casino reportedly escorted him out. The casino reportedly said he was winning too much and offered him a chance to lose at another game somewhere else in the casino.
Huh?
He’s triple threat actor, Ben Affleck. Writer. Director. Actor.
How do you ban this guy from your casino? And your excuse is “he’s winning too much”
That’s poor sportsmanship.
That’s the equivalent of taking your ball and going home.
If he was vomiting on the cards? That’s one thing.
If he was fondling hookers at the next chair, I get it.
Was he wearing X Ray Vision glasses?
But the guy was playing, by the rules, and surprise surprise, he was winning.
The casino says he was counting cards.
So what? It’s not illegal to count cards.
I can barely tie my shoes after a night in Vegas.
Try counting from a 6 deck shoe.
That’s the equivalent of the mental olympics.
Casinos use six decks to significantly reduce the chance of keeping track of what cards have come and what cards have gone.
For most of us, it’s not even an option.
But for the triple threat? Well it’s a challenge.
Vegas lives by the credo: WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS STAYS IN VEGAS.
Maybe it should change its motto to; LOSE QUIETLY & GO HOME.
Winning at a black jack table is 3 parts luck and one part skill. The cards you get depend on the shuffle, the number of cards, the number of people sitting around you, the cards they take, the cards they don’t take, and ultimately how you play the hand dealt to you.
Then there’s the low-cut dresses, the bells, the whistles, the hard bodies and the booze.
There are more distractions than an episode of the Love Boat.
Isn’t that enough of a chance for Ben Affleck to lose, Hard Rock?
You ban a guy because he has talent, guts, the fortitude to guess right, bet big and win big when the universe directed him to?
Hey Hard Rock, YOU SUCK!
You toss Ben because he isn’t a mope. You toss Ben because he doesn’t just sit at the table and try and last a round, or buy a $20 dollar beer from the drink girl.
Ben sits at the table like a professor and lets the numbers roll through his perfect mind.
He counts cards.
Yeah he count cards! So What?
Affleck was at the black jack table and reportedly maximizing his bets when the odds were in his favor.
He was gambling, but he was smart gambling.
The Hard Rock said sorry sir. We don’t condone smart gambling or winning.
You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here.
The nerve of the casino.
They have no problem taking your money, your dignity, your last red cent, but you win a little and they get all huffy?
Hey Hard Rock; you wanna ban someone from your casino? Here’s an idea.
Ban the gang bangers who wear wife beaters and baggy pants down around their ass.
Ban the old ladies who paint on their eye brows.
Ban the comb over old dudes, whose big butter asses overflow their stools like a Jabba the Hut pizza party.
Ban the Justin Bieber frat boys looking to hook up and run up charges on daddy’s gold card.
Ban the fat girls who cram themselves into mini skirts made for anorexic models.
Ban the open shirt Gumbas sporting decade old chest hair so crunchy you wanna fertilize it.
Ban the smokers, the cigarette losers, the stogey smoking wanna bes, the electronic vapor idiots.
Ban the teenagers who sneak in on their brother’s i.d and pop zits in the bathroom.
Ban the L.A. call girls who find me attractive for no reason at 2 am.
Seems like there is plenty to BAN in your casino, beside banning Ben Affleck from the black jack table.
You are a casino. You win all the time. Sometimes you gotta take your lumps.
You’re the big bully on the block and when someone finally bloodies your nose, you take your ball and you run home.
The casino issued a statement: “Mr. Affleck is a valued guest and he is not banned and is welcome back at any time free to try his luck at anything else.”
“Free to try his luck at something he isn’t good at,” The morning anchors scream in unison.
Vegas is a city of decadence and dreams. It’s sin city and the endless buffet line.
It’s taking chances and rolling the dice and defying the odds.
Now, it’s banning Ben Affleck for all the wrong reasons.
Life’s Crazy™