You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Bacon Coffins.
Rest in Peace, just became Rest in grease.
This company is crazy and I love its temerity. J&D doesn’t care that bacon clogs your heart faster than flushing a feminine napkin down the commode.
This company loves bacon and bacon loves them. They have bacon salt and bacon pop corn and bacon salad dressing. If they could drive bacon cars, wear bacon condoms or operate battery operated flying bacon airplanes, they would do it.
If it can be cured, dried and it comes from a pig, this company will lay down with it and make piggy love.
Oink. Oink.
These corporate guys would eat their bacon with a side of bacon with bacon flavored sprinkles on top.
Now they are getting into the casket business.
The company has a slogan for its bacon coffins: putting the fun back in funerals.
Wow. That is over the top crazy.
If death was fun, they’d have casket shaped bumper cars at the county fair. If death was so fun, you’d have casket cam with surveillance cameras inside coffins to document the hilarity of slow decomposition?
This company is now shamelessly hawking bacon caskets for the bacon lover in all of us. And apparently people are dying to get into one.
I recently got this press release from J&D’s Foods:
“We are pleased to announce the launch of Bacon Coffins. Yes, the world’s first bacon-wrapped casket. I think we all knew it would eventually end here. J&D’s Bacon Coffin™ is For those who love bacon to death.”
You gotta give these proprietors of dead hog meat their due. They know how to wear out a concept and have a good time doing it.
Bacon bacon and more bacon. Lard and grease and cholesterol filling your veins, forcing life sustaining blood to squeeze its way through a narrowing artery of life.
A casket? What a perfect product for something that is all ready killing you.
The company touts: Rest in peace, wrapped in bacon.”
Ha.
Can you imagine uncle Jim wrapped in bacon. Hey aunt Janice is buried in hog meat.
What a scream.
According to the company: the Bacon Coffins are finished with a painted Bacon and Pork shading and accented with gold stationary handles. The interior has an adjustable bed and mattress, a bacon memorial tube and is completed in ivory crepe coffin linens.
J&D says 2.4 million people died in the USA last year, and 99 percent of them loved bacon. That’s a big market for bacon caskets right?
The bacon coffin is a bit more expensive than the stuff you buy in your grocer’s deli.
At $2,999.95 + S&H you had better love bacon and being dead wrapped in a bacon flavored sarcophagus.
I guess you can’t take it with you, right?
and that is crazy.™