You know what’s crazy? I’ll tell you what’s crazy.™
Die Hard part V, better known as a good day to Die Hard.
I think they should have quit after Die Hard 2. This is the one where Bruce Willis – aka John McClain tears apart a Washington DC airport.
Die Hard, the franchise, should have died a while back.
But money talks and die hard walks and they created a part III and God forbid a Part IV.
I can’t even tell you what either of these 2 movies was about, though I’m sure something blew up, someone said the F word and Yippee Kay Aye Mother F***er was uttered at some point.
I can’t even tell you what either of these 2 movies was about, though I’m sure something blew up, someone said the F word and Yippee Kay Aye Mother F***er was uttered at some point.
I took my 14 year old son to the latest installment of Die Hard.
This is the 25th anniversary of the first Die Hard, a classic movie set in an L.A. skyscraper on Christmas Eve. By the end of the film, the Nakatomi Plaza has crumbled to the Earth and McClain, a bloody, slimy sweaty mess goes home with his wife.
That was a good movie, with great lines, and great characters.
Fast forward 25 years. A good Day to Die Hard is regurgitated car crashes and automatic weapons. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.
Usually Bruce Willis can carry the franchise through the rough spots with a few grimaces, wise cracks and winks into the camera.
Not so with part V.
It starts with Bruce Willis landing in Russia and it pretty much goes nowhere fast.
Oh it’s loud and it’s action packed with a 20 minute long car chase involving a tank vehicle a delivery truck and about a 100 vehicles destroyed.
The story is as compelling as ordering grilled cheese at a Borscht take out restaurant.
Plot: McClain wants to be a better dad to his son who is in Russia for reasons unknown. Turns out John Jr. is a CIA agent who hates his dad. The on going joke is the kid can’t call McClain, dad so he calls him John. There are no memorable lines, no memorable bad guys.
Plot: McClain wants to be a better dad to his son who is in Russia for reasons unknown. Turns out John Jr. is a CIA agent who hates his dad. The on going joke is the kid can’t call McClain, dad so he calls him John. There are no memorable lines, no memorable bad guys.
Remember Hans in Die Hard 1.Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
Not only was there no story, it got ridiculous when the chase takes them to Chernobyl, full of cob webs and decaying nuclear energy.
Suddenly everyone is setting fires in the reactor and acting like nobody is going to grow a third testicle at the end of the film.
I found myself wishing it would end so i could stand and stretch and turn on my cell phone and play words with friends.
Then we left the theater and my 14 year old says “you gotta love Die Hard”
I look at him like he’s crazy.
This movie is a teenage boy’s wet dream. Cars and explosions and fighting. All that’s missing is sex. There is no sex. I don’t think there is a boob, a butt, a kiss. It’s pulling chunks of glass out of your gut and blood dripping off your forehead. It’s falling off buildings and getting punched in the face with the butt end of a rifle and laughing like it’s a Candy Kiss.
But no sex.
But no sex.
$25.00 later we leave the theater. All in all, it’s a cheap Saturday night. You know what, I’m a hero to my 14 year old.
We talk about all the scenes that work and those that don’t. I I bring up the old school Die Hard and we laugh.
I guess it was a Good Day to Die Hard.
And that was crazy.™